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4:22 PM, Thursday August 3rd 2023
Hello Fairuz, good job completing the lesson. I have a couple of comments to make on your work.
contour curves
Overall, these were very good.
Keep in mind that, when the form goes from facing one direction to another (so when they turn in space), you have to make the curves transition a little more smoothly. You forgot to do the contour ellipses, but it should be OK. From what I see, you have a good understanding of how these sausages exist as 3-D forms. Next time, be sure to pay extra attention to what the assignments ask of you.
insects
Next time, I recommend to rotate your images so they're easier to look at.
Your constructions are very good. I recommend to use more contour lines, especially ones that run down the center of your subject. it'll help you to orient all your forms in your desired way.
Remember that breaking the silhouette of your object is a really good way to convey solidity. if you're stacking a form on top or around another, breaking the base object's silhouette is a good way to maintain the form's volume. This could be seen in the abdomen of the vertical image of the bug that's after the fly and also isn't the spider (I'm, quite frankly, not sure what that is). You added a form on the outer side, but it looks flat, almost as if it is a sticker that you placed on the base form, as it sticks with the silhouette of what was under it.
On that same drawing I see that you've added contour curves to one of the saugsage forms. Remember that, with those forms, we convey volume through how they interact with other forms. I can see that you might've messed up with these legs so I can see why you added contour curves, but it's good to keep in mind that we convey solidity through how the forms interact with each other (at least for our sausages).
One last thing to note; did you draw the base forms in with pencil? One of the rules with Drawabox is that it works exclusively in ink. I understand the sentiment of wanting it to be visually clearer, but for someone like me who is looking at your work, doing everything in ink gives me a clearer vision on how you went from point A to point B. It also reinforces the notion that every mark we make on the page counts, as we cannot erase ink. If this wasn't pencil and instead a dying pen, make sure to use pens with enough ink in them so that your lines come out more clearer and pronounced.
I'm marking this lesson as complete. Again, congrats!
Next Steps:
- move onto lesson 5
10:31 PM, Friday November 24th 2023
Thank you very much for critiquing my work, I'll keep in mind every feedback you give me. The organic form assignment is only written for the organic form with contour curves and does not mention the one with contour ellipses, so that's why I only do the contour curves.
I used the latter, I am using the dying pen for the construction :)
Thank you so much once again for the critique
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