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11:05 AM, Wednesday August 12th 2020

I would recommend you to read again the notes about texture in the website and retry the dissections exercise. I just don't see any use of cast shadows, you used form shadows and even outlined the volumes sometimes (read https://drawabox.com/lesson/2/2/castshadows), Also, refrain from using hatching or other meaningless marks in this course. You should only use marks that add actually valuable information about the textures. If anything, the cross hatching makes them more noisy and less pleasant to see. This is described in https://drawabox.com/lesson/2/2/formshading.

The other exercises look better, though I see quite a lot of mistakes in the form intersections exercise, so maybe try to be more careful with that in the future, One last thing, the organic intersections exercise should consist of only one pile per page, you put too many sausages in there.

7:58 AM, Tuesday August 25th 2020

Hey Cybertortoise22,

Thank you for the time and effort you took to analyze my work, I really appreciate it ^^

I now do agree with you that I need to do the dissections exercise again mainly because of the lack of cast shadows (I did interpret the exercise wrongly).

I would like to point out one thing though:

You did mention that you saw quite a lot of mistakes in the form intersections but you did not specify those mistakes.

For example was the problem mainly with the box-box intersection or mby with the box-circle intersection.

What I mean is that "you seeing quite a lot of mistakes that you don't specify" doesn't rly help me.

Best regards,

Teme

11:01 AM, Tuesday August 25th 2020
edited at 3:28 PM, Aug 25th 2020

Hey! This was actually my first critique here, so sorry to not have been clear enough. The thing is, the specific mistakes you made aren't that important. Everyone makes mistakes in this exercise and as you know the intersections aren't even the main focus of the exercise.

The problem is that it seems (at least to me) that some intersections were done hastily without fully considering the space. Why do I think this? Because most of the intersections are actually okay, but then some are very wrong. That's why more than pointing you out specific mistakes I told you to just be more careful. Because it should to the trick.

The intersectons will improve as you continue practing this exercise in your warmups. But if you want some exemples (I can't give you many because it's very difficult to refer to specific forms when the pages are full of them):

-Page 1: top box in the center. Any of its 3 intersections makes sense to me.

-Page 3: top right corner (box and cylinder).

-Page: bottom right corner. That cylinder and pyramid over the cube. And the fact that you messed up the lines in that pyramid kind of supports the idea that you should be taking more time and care with this exercise.

EDIT: typo

Next Steps:

I'll mark the lesson as complete when you reply this comment with the two new pages of dissections (now using cast shadows). Remember, read the instructions carefully.

Best of luck.

When finished, reply to this critique with your revisions.
edited at 3:28 PM, Aug 25th 2020
8:10 AM, Saturday October 3rd 2020
edited at 8:10 AM, Oct 3rd 2020

Lesson 2 - Dissections redone (using cast shadows):

https://imgur.com/gallery/QYFpdRp

edited at 8:10 AM, Oct 3rd 2020
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