3:31 PM, Thursday December 7th 2023
Hello TurtleBelowski, yes that's right, now you have completed all 4 pages this is the correct place to post them.
I apologise if my previous reply was confusing in this regard, I'm happy to give feedback on your work here. Seeing all 4 pages together provides a body of work that gives me a clearer idea of what you understand than analysing each page one at a time as you complete them.
Thank you for your hard work on these, I'm seeing much greater attention to taking actions on your constructions "in 3D" and your work is looking more solid. These are progressing, though I'll take some time to offer some additional clarification on a few areas.
Leg construction
I'm happy to see that you're sticking more closely to sausage forms, more consistently here. There are a few spots where these forms are more like "stretched spheres" or ellipses than true sausage forms, which as noted on the lower left of the sausage method diagram, will make your constructions stiff. It is not happening with every leg form, just some of them, and they're much more solid than partial shapes or over-complicated forms, so you absolutely get points for that.
There are a number of places where I can't see a contour line for the intersection where the leg sausages join together. There should be one at each joint, as highlighted in red on the copy of the sausage method diagram I shared with you above, and as shown in blue on this diagram I made for you back in lesson 4. If I zoom in on your work, I think it may be possible that you're going back over the existing edge of one of the sausage forms where they overlap, much like how we use additional line weight to clarify overlaps. What we're trying to do with the leg joints is a little different to this, rather than showing which form is in front, we're showing where they intersect in space, just like with the form intersections exercise from lesson 2.
Additional masses
You've made a big step forward by drawing complete forms when you want to build onto your constructions, rather than partial shapes, great work. The next step is to think a bit more about the topography of the underlying structures that you're trying to wrap the additional mass around, and how they will affect the design of your mass' silhouette.
Take another look at this section where additional masses are introduced. See where the masses meet the top of the shoulder and thighs, they change trajectory, form inward curves, and wrap around those underlying structures. Something that may help you here, is to think of your additional masses a bit like the organic intersections exercise (which you are able to do pretty well) as shown in these diagrams by Meta.
So if we take for example these two big masses on your deer construction, right now they're maintaining a fairly consistent trajectory as they run across a number of different structures. In general, I'd advise keeping each mass more limited in scope, so it can achieve a more specific purpose, rather than trying to achieve a great deal with a single mass (which is inherently more difficult, and can lead to accidentally over complicating the mass and flattening it out). In addition, when designing your additional mass, consider each individual form it attaches to one at a time. So with the green mass on top of the body, we'd wrap it around the neck, then where the additional mass transitions from the neck to the torso sausage, we'd need to think about how that might change the shape of the additional mass, and again, where we encounter the top of the thigh, how will this change the trajectory of the silhouette.
So, here is how I might have handled the addition to the top of your deer. I started by making the shoulder larger, and placing it further up the side of the body, with the blue ellipse, much like I showed you previously on your springbok. I've broken the additional mass into smaller, more manageable pieces (red, then purple, then green) and used pink arrows around the first mass, to more clearly show the thinking of wrapping around the specific structures of the neck, then the shoulder, then the torso. Once the masses are in place they become part of the existing structure and any more additional masses we add in this area must wrap around them like any other form. So the purple mass wraps around the red ones, and changes trajectory where it transitions from wrapping around these red masses, to wrapping around the torso sausage.
Notice that each mass I've drawn has a complete silhouette, and where they overlap they do so in 3D space. I was happy to see you using a separate mass for each bump on top of your rhino, rather than trying to do too much with one mass, but there are places where it looks like these pieces are being cut off where they pass behind one another, such as the pieces I've marked with red and blue here. Cutting them off makes it harder for the viewer to understand how they exist in 3D space. Try to draw each mass in its entirety, as we have discussed previously.
Head construction
I'm happy to see you carving out eye sockets and wedging a solid boxy muzzle form snugly against them for your bat, deer and rhino constructions, well done. For your frog it looks like you plonked the eyeballs straight onto the cranial ball. In all fairness, frogs are pretty tricky, and I do understand what you saw in your reference and why you chose to do this. As I explained on Discord when you first started this lesson, vertebrates do have eye sockets even if they are sometimes difficult to observe in the reference, and drawing eyeballs directly onto the basic ball form of the head is better suited to insect and arachnid constructions. I can see from your other pages that you are developing a stronger understanding of head construction so overall I'm not too concerned about the frog, it's just something to keep in mind for the future.
Core construction
I noticed in your original submission that you tend to draw the pelvis mass pretty small, but decided not to bring it up, as it's a fairly minor issue compared to some of the other points I needed to talk about. Think of this section as bonus information that I hope will help you in the future, not as a "mistake" that you've made. Looking through your pages, in most cases you're not far off having the pelvis occupy about a quarter of the length of the torso sausage, which is quite correct, as per this section of the lesson intro page. These proportions work when we look at the animal from the side. However, when we see the animal from a three-quarter angle, we need to apply foreshortening to this concept. Here is approximately where I think the pelvis mass should be on your rhino, occupying the space between the thigh masses. This makes the gap between the pelvis and the rib cage appear to be smaller, due to how the forms have turned in space. If we look at the animal from more of a front view, the rib cage and pelvis may even overlap on the page, as shown in the puma demo.
Conclusion
While there is scope for further growth here, your methodology is correct. You're starting your constructions with simple forms, and gradually building complexity, piece by piece. I expect your ability to fit these pieces together like 3D puzzle will continue to develop over time with practice.
The next section that comes up takes a pretty significant turn from the kind of construction we've been tackling for the last three lessons, so the the points I've brought up here shouldn't hold you back from exploring those, and I expect tackling that material may help further develop your spatial reasoning skills, ultimately making the concepts covered in this lesson easier for you to understand in the future. I'll go ahead and mark this as complete, so you can move on to the 250 cylinder challenge, which is a prerequisite for lesson 6.
Next Steps:
250 cylinder challenge





