Hello! Today I'll be critiquing your submission for this lesson. I will be dividing the lesson into three sections: Thinking in 3D, Texture and Detail, and Construction. Hopefully the critique may provide some insights.
Thinking in 3D: Arrows and Organic Forms with Contour Lines
Arrows
Starting off with the arrows, the flow lines are smooth and consistent. However, the foreshortening for the arrows itself are static, meaning they have the same size. You have to remember that these arrows have perspective. To further reinforce the illusion that these arrows are 3d, I would recommend you to keep the farthest end of the arrow narrow, and the closest to the viewer wider, vice versa. The transition from narrow to wider should also be smooth and for each bend, the gap or negative space will either increase or decrease depending on the arrow https://imgur.com/a/7DYINNt. Try to also watch out for the overlap of the arrows, as the arrows flow away or near the viewer. Other than that, the submission itself was solid.
Organic Forms with Contour Lines
First page in the submission; The Contour Ellipse, with regard to the Sausages, they are coming off a bit elongated and the end not being spherical:https://drawabox.com/lesson/2/5/simplesausage Because of that, keep the Sausages as simple. Nextly, the contour ellipses in some sausages are misaligned, they should be aligned to the minor axis or the spine of the sausage. I would recommend you to plan and ghost the spine, and try your best to keep it centered. Lastly, the degree shift of the Sausages should be changing and the degrees could be widening or narrowing:https://drawabox.com/lesson/1/5/degree
Last page; The Contour Curves. Overall, pretty good alignment, just watch out for the orientation of the sausage, and try to keep the spine centered as possible. So pretty much in these two submissions, I will recommend you to practice them more, especially the Contour Ellipse, as they are important in later lessons.
Texture and Detail: Texture Analysis, and Dissections
I would keep this section brief as possible as there is not much to uncover .
Texture Analysis and Dissections
To start things off for this section, first of all, I will recall for you that scribbling, and hatching to achieve transition is prohibited. We are drawing cast shadows to describe our texture. Since we are drawing Cast Shadows to describe our texture, this means: No reflection, No refraction, No form shadows, and No local color.
So for the Texture Analysis; The only error in the submission is that the transition is not that smooth: https://drawabox.com/lesson/2/6/notransition. I recommend you to start in the middle to work your way down to dense and to sparse.
The Sausage of the Dissections are coming off to look like an Ellipse, I will recommend you to break the silhouette because not only you are given the chance to outline your texture, but also make it impactful: https://drawabox.com/lesson/2/7/silhouette. The texture also is not wrapping around the sausage and could be better.
So all in all, the texture was solid. I like the fact that there are less ink indicating that you were being mindful and patient in working with texture. In order for you to avoid the mistake of the texture not wrapping and same as the Texture Analysis, I actually recommend you to outline your texture and finally add ink to it, as to plan how it should result, but not to over-ink it.
Construction: Form Intersections, and Organic Intersections
Form Intersections
Great job in conveying the scene as a whole in shallow perspective, unfortunately, in some forms, there are no intersection whatsoever, so because of that I'll be awaiting for the revision. Here is also a guide about the logic of intersection:https://imgur.com/a/forms-intersections-first-aid-pack-6Inx5Bz. Be also subtle on the Line weight, and this exercise has the same principles about Markmaking.
For this exercise, it is stated that the first page should consist of BOXES.
I will also like to add to overlap more of your forms in future warm-ups, if not then it can look that they are just in front of one another:https://imgur.com/a/critique-KFoPstp
Organic Intersections
To wrap things off for the submission, good job on the Organic Intersections, the sausage had improved but the spine of the sausage was missing in some. I will also remind you that, you are not limited to just stacking the Sausages off one another, but you can also wrap them around to the side.
Overall, the submission was good. Unfortunately, I will revise you the Contour Ellipse as there are many reasons such as: The Degree Shift, Misaligned Ellipses, and the Elongated Sausage Form. Lastly the Form Intersections because most of the Intersections are missing. You were pretty much on the right track of things, so just keep practicing and do warm-ups before doing the exercise.
Edit: Regarding your question about the shading of the arrows, each side can be shaded, however, it is better for you to shade the inside of the bend. If it is done on the wrong side, it could imply the arrow twirling in space, so be careful in drawing the shade. Here is an old example in the community: https://imgur.com/a/JeZ7Mt0
Next Steps:
One Page of Contour Ellipse
Complete Work of Form Intersections
Should you send the two submission, You can now finally move to L3.
Thank you so much for your critic! I also noticed that I was having problems with the ellipses but couldn't pinpoint what it was. Maybe I should do the 250 cylinder challenge.
As in the texture analysis exercise I think the closest thing I did that looks like hatching was an armadillo scale, they look like a vinyl, with all the grooves, and I didn't know how to approach it's cast shadow otherwise, any suggestions?
I will annex the revisions of the contour ellipses and forms intersection bellow:
I'm really grateful for your time and effort revising my work and also providing visual information. Have a great day.
To start things off, it is recommended to start the 250 Cylinder challenge after finishing Lesson 5 because it fits in the later lessons, however if not, then you're free to do so.
For the revision, in the Form Intersection submission, I have not much to say since the intersection of forms are for you to decide, so a pass on that one. Lastly, the Counter Ellipse submission, it has improved with less errors, I suggest you to exaggerate the degree of the Ellipse, and make the ellipses of the degree not same adjacent to another. But a pass on that one as well, since warm-ups will help you get through this.
Regarding the Texture Analysis, I may have done a misstep on characterizing those grooves as hatching honestly, looking upon it more clearly, it is accepted. So I apologize for the blunder. However, if you want any suggestions, then take my advice with a grain of salt because you are free to convey on how a texture should look and appear, however, just to remind you on errors and reminders on how the course approach texture.
So, if I were to approach the armadillo scale (on the last square or panel), I would point the scale ends to the left because the light is going from East to West, not only that, because I assume that the groove shadows will not be visible. And because it has grooves there would be ripples like what you had done. Also another Example from the community:https://imgur.com/a/example-cF8gOIf. So this is a suggestion.
So basically, you can approach the texture on different ways, you can even discard my suggestion, and do the opposite, just do whatever it takes to achieve a texture looking like that texture, but I will remind you on how the course approach texture. Again I do apologize on the groove shadows categorizing those as hatching, and the texture itself is a pass.
I'll be marking this lesson as complete, since I think you got the gist of it, so Congratulations!1 you may now proceed to the next lesson.
Next Steps:
Thank you soo much! The resources you showed me is really helpful! No need to apologize! It did came out looking like hatchings, if you didn't point it out I probably wouldn't find out other ways of doing it and make my intentions more clear.
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