2 users agree
5:18 AM, Sunday February 19th 2023

Hi RRose, I will be critiquing your submission today.

Organic Arrows:

Your organic arrows look very nice, have a very good sense of depth and flow nicely.

Sausages:

The sausages are also pretty good! A couple of them have an issue with the degrees of the ellipses don’t change as much as they really should to make them look 3d. They look more like https://d15v304a6xpq4b.cloudfront.net/lesson_images/6822fd02.jp

And they should look like thishttps://d15v304a6xpq4b.cloudfront.net/lesson_images/061ed3b6.jpg

Texture analysis: This is pretty good as well! You don’t outline the forms and do a good job with the shadow shapes. The only problem is the black bar on the left is pretty evident, and it does not transition that well into the white. Here is what I mean: https://d15v304a6xpq4b.cloudfront.net/lesson_images/7d1f3467.jpg

Especially on the leaf texture, it does not transition from dark to white at all.

Dissections: There is a lot of good technique here, but they're are a couple points to work on. First of all, it seems like you are sort of reluctant to break the silhouette of the forms in some cases. Breaking the silhouette is the best way to communicate a texture and it will look off if you fail to do so. Take the tennis ball, for example, if you had drawn the bits of hair and roughness of the ball on the silhouette it would have really sold the texture. Always consider how the texture will affect the silhouette. You could have applied this to the swiss cheese, bread, banana and leopard fur and more as well. You also don’t draw the shadow shapes as much as you should in this. Take the concrete, for example. You draw these simple lines to communicate the lines which I assumed you saw on the concrete texture. But you are not drawing the lines on the concrete, you are always drawing the shapes that the lines cast. This image should help you understand this: https://i.imgur.com/M9JJfr4.png

Organic Intersections: These are missing one major element: No shadows. The shadows are one of the most important parts of this exercise. Other then that, the sausages look okay. Its hard for me a full critique of the exercise when its missing a major element.

Form intersections: The intersections are not perfect by any means but this is okay, you will practice how to make ihe intersections correctly in later lessons. The only problem is that (especally in the box exercise) the perspective is a bit wonky, some of the lines converge too much and they make the boxes like they don’t all belong in the same scene. Make sure that the perspective for a parallel lines are very subtle to make them all look like they belong. https://drawabox.com/lesson/2/8/stretched

Other then that, great submission! You have done good work here.

Next Steps:

Do the organic intersections exercise, two pages, but make sure to add cast shadows this time, or just add shadows to your already existing pages if you feel lazy.

When finished, reply to this critique with your revisions.
7:29 PM, Wednesday February 22nd 2023

Thank you so much for the thorough critique! I'll keep what you said in mind.

Here are the corrections:

https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1qoMQhOEDKWG-nK_MVeY9DMIrSZ2rUrGs?usp=sharing

I added another page of disections trying to break the silhouette like you suggested

3:41 AM, Thursday February 23rd 2023

Hi again,

This is exactly the improvement I was looking for. The sausage exercises are great and have no errors and the intersections are a huge improvement. I especally like how the cheese has holes that affect the silloette now, it really sells the texture perfectly. Great job, and move on to the next lesson!

Next Steps:

go to lesson 3!

This community member feels the lesson should be marked as complete, and 2 others agree. The student has earned their completion badge for this lesson and should feel confident in moving onto the next lesson.
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