4:58 PM, Monday September 5th 2022
Hello I’ll be handling the critique for your lesson 2 homework.
-Starting by the organic arrows they are drawn with a good deal of confidence, which helps to capture the fluidity with which they move through space ,I noticed that on some of your arrows you are building the edges by segments, this is not an issue as long as the curves are continuous but this is not the case for your arrows, make sure that you are drawing both edges of the arrow completely. This goes back to the principles of markmaking that we learned back in lesson 1, here ( https://drawabox.com/lesson/1/3/continuous your making some good attempts at the perspective of the ribbon. The main issue here though is that you are not aware that the negative space between the zigzagging sections of the ribbon should decrease as it moves further away, as shown here ( https://d15v304a6xpq4b.cloudfront.net/lesson_images/011d064f.jpg ), this is the only thing missing for your arrows to look tridimensional.
Organic Forms with contours
-The shape of your sausages needs some work, there are a few that pinch or swell where they should not, try to stick to the recipe of two balls connected by a tube of consistent width. When it comes to the ellipses it seems that you are aware of how they change degree as they move through space, and the contour curves are moving in the right direction in many ways, although they seem to be barely changing degrees compared to the contour ellipses. Contour curves are a useful tool to describe how a form sits in 3D space but they can easily work against us by flattening our drawing, the best approach is to use the ghosting method to think about each mark’s purpose and how you are going to achieve it best, once that is done you can focus on executing that mark with confidence. This way you will avoid drawing contours that do not really add any useful information to the drawing. And also keep in mind that you don’t need to draw too many to convey the tri dimensionality of a form.
-On the texture analysis you are doing a good job, I like to see a bold use of the shadows to create the transition from dense to sparse, however try to merge the initial rectangle filled with ink more seamlessly with the other shadows so that it becomes less noticeable.
-On the dissections exercise I notice that you are making use of a lot of simple lines and scratchy marks, when it comes to the texture exercises it is alway better to be purposeful and draw marks with intent and forethought. That'll why it is better to first outline the shadow shape and then fill it with ink rather than simply relying on linesa as shown in this diagram ( https://imgur.com/oAx2pRD ), try to think about how the shadow shape wraps around the surface it is falling on and don't forget to use every opportunity to break the silhouette as those tiny details have a huge impact
-Moving on to the form intersections you are doing great, you have kept the foreshortening shallow and your forms are not too different when it comes to size, which makes it look like they're actually sharing the same 3D space. If you feel like you don’t fully grasp them yet don't worry as we will be revisiting this exercise in future lessons
-Finishing with the organic intersections, you are moving in the right direction. I do think that you are letting your forms get too complex, as some of them get pretty long. So try to make them roughly the same size and keep them as simple as you can, this is the best strategy to get good results, once you do that you can think about how this forms sag and bend under the force of gravity as if they were balloons filled with water.
The cast shadows also need some work, right now they seem to be hugging the form casting them, so try to push them further and give them a nice curve, you can take a look at these notes to better understand this point. https://drawabox.com/lesson/2/9/shadows
Okayyyy, so that’s all I wanted to address, I will assign you some revisions so you can tackle some of the issues I have raised here. Good luck.
Please do the following
-1 page of organic arrows
-1 page of organic forms
-1 page of organic intersections
9:57 PM, Thursday September 22nd 2022
Okayyy, starting with the organic forms they are turning out much better than your previous attempt. While their sizes differ, they are more consistent than before, the main thing here is that you are still not ?ushing the cast shadows as far as you could, so try to push them further and give them a nice curve. Another thing to keep in mind in the future is that you should keep all the sausages in a single group rather than having multiple groups.
-Moving on to the arrows I have no complaints here, it seems that you have addressed all the issues I had raised previously and the only recommendation I have for you is that you can add lineweight and a subtle hatching where the arrow folds.
-The same can be said of the organic forms. The shape of your sausages is turning out much better and I think that you are being much more deliberate with the use of the contour lines.
So I am very pleased with the results of your revisions, I just will go ahead and mark this lesson as complete
10:00 PM, Thursday September 22nd 2022
thank u so much i think i shoud go to lesson 3 not 5