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4:10 PM, Monday July 13th 2020

Hi,

Arrows : The arrows don't seem like flowing in 3d space for two reason. 1. They don't really increase in width. 2. The band doesn't get closer and closer as its farther away. Go take a look at the first image of the lesson 2, there is parallel lines getting closer and closer.

Organic forms : The width vary a lot. Focus on keeping the same width for the whole form. Also, the ellipses and contour lines have the same degree. It's incorrect because as a part of a 3d object gets farther away from your fixing point, even in the object is parallel to you, the degree increases. Also, the contour lines don't warp back around the forms like instructed.

Textures : For the texture analysis, your middle box is empty. Also the boxes on the left, only the one on the top has a gradient. For the texture warping over the organic forms, you did a good job of making them feel like warping over the object, but you could have added a gradient. Also, I see no variation on the silhouette. I also see a lot of textures missing in the intern part of the forms.

Intersections : For the form intersection, the lines are often wobbly. Don't forget to use the ghosting method to every line you put in the work. The intersections need a bit of work but it's normal, this exercise is made hard for that. Adding some line weight and some hatching to the faces closer to us could really have given a better look to your forms. For the organic intersections, the rule was to draw through them. Also the ellipses and contour lines don't vary.

Overall :

  1. Your lines are wobbly. Don't forget, it's more important doing a sexy line then having it hit the target. Do more superimposed lines and ghosted planes in your warm ups.

  2. I feel that a lot of the instructions for this lesson didn't pass through (Making the arrows bigger as they get closer, varying the degree of ellipses, the gradient of the textures, the line weight/hatching of the forms, and the fact that we should see through the organic form intersections).

Next Steps:

Redo the lesson two. This time, read every exercise completely and keep short notes on the side to what should not be forgotten. Do more ghosted planes and superimposed lines in warm ups to develop cleaner, more sexy lines.

When finished, reply to this critique with your revisions.
2:42 PM, Monday August 10th 2020

hi ANERO4,

thanks for the critique. it was very in depth and helpful.

https://drawabox.com/community/submission/12CYUC9N

I finished the revisions you asked for.

i'd appeciate any more advice if you have any.

thanks :)

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