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8:18 PM, Tuesday November 30th 2021
edited at 8:27 PM, Nov 30th 2021

Hi Kunito, good to see you are making progress, I'll critique your homework and try to be more detailed this time.

Starting with your organic intersections, your forms wrap around each other believably, but you could try to push those cast shadows further, and also I noticed some inconcistency with the lighting. With shadows being cast left and right. And also remember to avoid any elongated sausages as explained here.

-Now let's move to your animal constructions.

You did pretty well handling the additional masses, in some cases like the pelican's head that relationship is not entirely clear.

I'll try to address the things you mentioned

Sausage method

Don't forget the specific requirements of the sausage method, as explained here. Contour lines go right on the joint between sausage segments, not anywhere else along their length, and of course be sure to stick to simple sausage forms. The sausage method is just the start. It lays down a base structure for our legs, but we are still expected to build upon it. That is how we achieve those areas of more significant girth and bulk - not by introducing it right from the beginning, but building up to it, step by step. You're going in the right direction here though.

Lineweight

Keep in mind that actually drawing your marks is just the very last step of the whole three step process introduced in the ghosted lines exercise that you may want to read again to refresh your memory.Maybe you're forgetting about all of these core principles, and just focusing on getting something done. You're held back by panic, but because your hand shakes, you're assuming that to be the cause.

Your hand shaking may in some way contribute to your anxiety, but ultimately that shouldn't stop you from intending to create the correct marks.

Additional Masses

When drawing those muscles - when defining their silhouette - you have to go to any lengths to define the relationship between them and the structure they were being attached to in 3D space. This 3D relationship is something that can only be defined by the form's own silhouette - not by adding contour lines after the fact, because those contour lines will only make each form feel 3D on their own, in isolation. That's why they don't feel like they're being held together with the body. If you look at the example from the lesson, those masses are actually curving and wrapping around the other parts of the body, "gripping" them.

When it comes to the additional masses however, we're not intersecting two forms - we're piling them atop one another. They rely really heavily on how their silhouettes are drawn. When floating in a void, on their own and away from our construction, we can think of them like soft balls of meat, with nothing but simple, outward curves the whole way through (looking kind of like a sphere). Once they press up against a structure however, the part that makes contact will curve inward in response, and corners will form where these curvatures change. You can see this demonstrated here. These inward curves and corners introduce complexity to our silhouette, and so in order for the form to continue to feel solid and three dimensional, it is critical that every bit of complexity corresponds to a specific defined stimulus. There should be no such complexity without a clear form-interaction to cause it.

I think this has got pretty long so I'll leave you with a bunch of references

  1. In regards to head construction

2.Approaching leg construction with the sausage method - the ant leg example and the dog leg example.

3.Things to consider when employing 'additional masses'

4.How to think about forms' silhouettes when they're built upon one another.

As a final note this is meant to be a word of advice regarding the things you mentioned, it is not a critique of your homework in its entirety.

Next Steps:

Send 3 more animal constructions to see how well you absorbed this material. good luck and sorry for any misspellings.

When finished, reply to this critique with your revisions.
edited at 8:27 PM, Nov 30th 2021
12:09 PM, Thursday December 2nd 2021

Thanks for critiquing me again. Seriously, tysm.

There's a lot of overlapping muscles on the okapi so it looks a little confusing. I think I got pretty much all the overlapping correct though.

Well, improvement. The linework on the first one is still a bit messy (definitely visibly better than before though). I'm pretty proud on how it came out on the second, albeit there still a couple places (like the belly) where I messed up adding weight.

Here's my work

https://imgur.com/a/1z7FzaJ

The fact that it's the coldest here its been in over a decade certainly didn't help with the hands lol.

I am looking forward to yar reply. Pretty excited for the Cylinders challenge.

4:03 PM, Thursday December 2nd 2021

I see you are definitely moving in the right direction here, the additional masses are pretty well done even when you are not using any contour lines, and also they don't have any arbitrary corners which is good. In your first drawing I like how you used shoulder and hip masses to provide with some additional structure to push the mass against and make it feel more grounded. Always strive to do this when drawing quadrupeds.

Regarding your legs, you are clearly sticking to the sausage method and its requirements, but remember to highlight the intersection between forms with a contour line, always.

Regarding the head construction, apply the approach that I put above, try to do it directly - down to even the specific eye socket shape of a pentagon with a point facing downwards. This allows for the muzzle to fit in the resulting wedge between the sockets, and for the brow ridge/forehead to rest on the flat surface along the top. I don't put too much stress on this as you are already moving in the right direction here.

Your observational skills are excellent - just make sure that you're investing time into understanding how the forms you identify exist in 3D space, so you can build them back up using construction, rather than purely observing and transferring what you've seen to the 2D page.

So I'm pretty sure you can move, you have showed a good deal of understanding of the concepts in this lesson.

This community member feels the lesson should be marked as complete, and 2 others agree. The student has earned their completion badge for this lesson and should feel confident in moving onto the next lesson.
4:56 PM, Thursday December 2nd 2021

:DDD

Looking back at my originals, most of them were so incorrect lmao.

Tysm for critiquing again, and all the best to you too!

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