3 users agree
11:49 PM, Tuesday December 31st 2024
edited at 5:22 PM, Jan 1st 2025

Hello Kat2000, I’ll be critiquing your submission today. If you have any questions, feel free to ask below. With that said, I’ll go ahead and review your submission.

Organic Intersections

Now, before heading into the cast shadows themselves, I’ll walk through an issue with the forms. As you’re likely more than accustomed to by now, the aim for the sausages is not only to be as simple as possible but also to describe the weight behind placing each individual sausage onto each other. Both pages suggest you have a good sense of how the forms should build up. However, the mass of forms almost seems not to interact with the structure below, almost giving off a “frozen” effect which ultimately breaks the illusion of the sausages cohesively lying on top of each other.

Let's take a look at this leaning structure here , the form seems to be leaning against the 2 stack to the right but nothing prevents the mass from falling forward. If we think of these forms as water balloons, it's easier to judge how the masses will behave against one another. In addition to the choices of placement we decide to make. In the future, I suggest taking some time to consider how the forms should obey the laws of gravity in a convincing way to the viewer. One final point to add about the contour lines, you seem to use the same method from the organic forms with contour lines exercise. At this step here, our approach with this exercise is slightly different in our intention to add volume with a variation of contour lines along the surface.

For the cast shadows, a separate issue arises in how the shapes are unnaturally sticking to the forms. For both pages there’s a tendency to copy and paste the same shadow shape rather than designing the cast shadows accurately from the given underlying forms. Remember that cast shadows are not always constant; variation in position and light source can present new ways to design a cast shadow. Another factor that may be affecting the illusion might also be the overlaps themselves. At first glance it’s difficult to identify which forms are in front or behind. I highly recommend adding line weight over forms that are in front to demonstrate their “dominance” over other forms.

Animal Constructions

I found a few instances in which a few lines stop abruptly where they should pass behind existing forms. Make sure you’re always drawing through all your forms. Once again, line weight comes in handy to unconsciously push forms behind or in front of the viewer.

Cranium/Ribcage/Pelvis

In terms of the torsos themselves, they tend to miss out on the sag introduced here where the relationship between the ribcage and the pelvis is established. It becomes increasingly critical when we later add additional forms. It can make or break the solidity of the torso form. I took one of your wolf constructions to demonstrate how you could bend the torso a bit further.

Hooved Animals

The implication of hooves as 3D forms are a bit shaken in some areas here and start to push into the 2D boundary. I believe you were attempting to replicate the cloven hoof but, unfortunately, it flattens the overall form. Remember that our paper is equivalent to a window into 3D space, and we want to be deliberate in how each mark we make will imply they exist cohesively in 3D. Based on the reference itself, although the hooves are hidden in the grass, there's still an opportunity to make some convincing constructionsions using our own methods from the lesson. Here’s an example of a way to imply the form of the hoof without sacrificing the 3D aspect. Recall in lesson 4 where Uncomfy demonstrates how to convey changes on the organic forms surface.

Leg Construction

A common theme between your hooved animals is the base leg construction. Adherence to the sausage method tends to vary across the pages. I believe it's the most apparent on this horse leg here in which the sausage will contract and expand at the joints of the limbs, almost in a way to replicate the bone/ligaments in one form. Our goal with these animal constructions is not to create a 1:1 copy of the animal reference but to use the reference to blueprint our own construction given the methods we’ve learned (sausage method). We want to bend these references to our will, not the other way around. Take a quick glance at step 3 of the donkey demo done by Uncomfy of what we should aim for with limbs. Instead you want to stick to keeping the sausage as simple as possible for the first iteration of the construction and to use additional forms to add those complexities such as ligaments, muscle, tendons and so on.

Here’s an example of what that could look like (simple sausages in red, additional masses in purple) For the hooves, I took a similar approach to boxed paws and imply the different planes that exist on the hoof. (Deers notably have cloven hooves, so I chose to use 2 separate forms instead.)

Head Construction

For the most part, I think you’re applying the correct approach towards the muzzle of most animals, especially with the bulldog, horse, and owl constructions where the best course of action is shown to be applied to additional forms. There's a few instances where you slip back into 2D forms. Here on this construction the rabbit the nose and mouth don't really explain the changes in the muzzle planes. Although some forms may not break the silhouette we want to ensure we're taking similar steps to explain their solidarity. This recent squirrel demo by Uncomfy that shows off how you should be thinking about breaking down these forms.

Additional Forms

These are done okay. I think there are a few areas where you get stuck solving how to wrap some of the forms that are not as obvious, resulting in flat shapes that don’t completely convince the viewer it exists cohesively with other forms. In this image here, the additional mass of the deer glute appears to come off a bit flat. Covering large areas of existing forms with only one mass can pose a challenge in conveying proper 3D form. Whenever you can, try multiple additional masses to convey spatial relationships. In this example I've started out with the mass marked out in red and overlapped with the blue mass. Notice the transition of each mass, we want to avoid arbitrary sharp corners or curves.

Before deciding to place an additional mass, interpret the 3D form of where you’re placing the mass and how it might change as it comes in contact with surrounding surfaces. Here's a simple example made by DIO to help you think about designing additional forms.

Texture/Fur

For the handful of times fur was added to the construction, they were used appropriately to the silhouette with intention. Good work.

Alright then I think I covered all the major points with your submisson. But before I send you off to the cylinder challenge, I would like to see the items listed below to make sure you've understood the general feedback:

1 page of organic intersections

  • Build up the sausages one at a time pausing each time to consider the behaviour of the mass.

  • Throw in parallel contour lines along the surface of the mass to create a stronger sense of volume. However, be careful not to go overboard as one too many could cause the form to look flat.

  • Add line weight over forms that are in front to demonstrate their “dominance”. This next tip is not explicitly explained in lesson 2, however it’s good practice to avoid large gaps shown here and closely follow the contour of the form as you draw the overhanging end of the sausage. It should help avoid running into sausages that may look “frozen”.

  • Save the cast shadows for last only after all sausages are drawn. Start from the bottom, working your way to the topmost forms to ensure the overlaps are consistent with no visual contradictions.

1 page of any hooved quadruped

  • For the leg construction, start off with simple sausages and use additional forms to build up the accompanying masses.

  • Account for the torso sag when connecting the ribcage and pelvis. It doesn’t have to be a major amount but just enough to noticeably describe the gesture of the torso.

Next Steps:

  • 1 page of organic intersections

  • 1 page of any hooved quadruped

When finished, reply to this critique with your revisions.
edited at 5:22 PM, Jan 1st 2025
9:22 PM, Saturday January 4th 2025
edited at 12:29 AM, Jan 5th 2025

Hello thank you for taking your time to critique my work here's my revisions. I'm not sure if my organic intersections is done correctly,I still struggle with this mainly drawing the shadow underneath.

https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1n4OqPoXIBdlLA4hCf-c7b-EolC3p2_iQ

I forgot to add the refrence I used

https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1n4OqPoXIBdlLA4hCf-c7b-EolC3p2_iQ

edited at 12:29 AM, Jan 5th 2025
10:03 AM, Monday January 6th 2025
edited at 10:23 AM, Jan 6th 2025

Hey Kat, Good news is that you’re hitting your mark on the placement of the forms much better. It’s also great that you’re putting more effort into the shape of the cast shadows. When we’re conscious of the projection of cast shadows onto the forms below, we can convince the viewer that the individual forms exist in the same space as one collective pile. My main concern is still the lack of line weight, which can really affect how someone can automatically distinguish which forms are in front or behind. I share your sentiment about cast shadows, and admittedly, it's something I still struggle with myself. (my Lesson 2 submission was a train wreck.) Lesson 2 itself packs a lot of concepts to digest in one go; going back to read/watch topics relating to cast shadows sometimes offers new pockets of information that might have been missed during the first visit. Overall, I think you're taking steps in the right direction here.

Now the animal construction, as you could probably guess I'm looking for how you're applying these 3 things; 1. Torso Sag, 2. Simple Sausages, and 3. Additional Forms. I think you've satisfied all three so I'll just be offering some advice in situations where you might not have been fully attentive. You'll find it here.

All in all, I think you understand the Lesson 5 concepts well, so I’ll go ahead and send you off to the 250 Cylinder Challenge. Keep up the good work.

Next Steps:

Remember to take these exercises into your warm-ups (10–15 minutes), and you can move on towards the 250 Cylinder Challenge. Good Luck!

This community member feels the lesson should be marked as complete, and 3 others agree. The student has earned their completion badge for this lesson and should feel confident in moving onto the next lesson.
edited at 10:23 AM, Jan 6th 2025
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