5:51 PM, Monday September 25th 2023
Thank you very much!
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RRose
Dimensional Dominator
The Indomitable (Autumn 2023)
Joined 2 years ago
7500 Reputation
rrose's Sketchbook
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How the forms interact with each other (Imagine tetris but with sausages)
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How the contours curve around each form and how they change their angle based on that (try to ghost and overshoot the contours)
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How the shadows interact with what's under it (Line weight is fine but focus on the shadows for now)
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Keep practising your ellipses
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Move on to Lesson 3
9:56 PM, Sunday September 24th 2023
Hello again!
Thanks for the reply and the correction images, they're really helpful. I'm glad you gave me such a thorough review because this lesson was hard to understand.
The first two images were taken from the demos:
https://d15v304a6xpq4b.cloudfront.net/lesson_images/826c1a46.jpg
https://d15v304a6xpq4b.cloudfront.net/lesson_images/990761dd.jpg
And these are the last two:
I didn't draw the other leaves for the sunflower because i wasn't quite sure how to approach that, should I have drawn a heart shape from the get go?
Anyway, thanks again!
11:24 AM, Saturday September 23rd 2023
Hello!
Thank you for such an in-depth critique, the tips you gave have been a big help during the revisions; drawing bigger is really useful to understand what I'm trying to do and how I'm doing it, and I tried to take my time with the branch construction, while it wasn't perfect I do think that it went a lot better than last time I tried these.
https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1AcOfyzG_MIxXDHHIRh47-EFScdi9LOGP?usp=sharing
Please let me know if any other tips can help me improve further!
9:59 PM, Thursday June 29th 2023
The revision seems better, they stack more naturally now and the perspective is nice too.
The intersections are fine as well.
Remember to keep practising the completed lessons and good luck on your journey!
Next Steps:
Move on to the next Lesson, and don't forget about the 50-50 rule
1 users agree
9:40 PM, Saturday June 17th 2023
This looks like it will be very useful, thank you for sharing!
2 users agree
10:02 AM, Friday June 16th 2023
Hello, I’ll be doing your critique today!
Organic Arrows
Good sense of depth and variety of arrows. Nice and smooth lines, the hatching is done well too.
Organic forms with contour lines
The ellipses rotate very well and follow the motion of the sausage great work here!
The contours look a little flat, try to ghost them like you would an ellipse and then when you are ready, draw an overshooting curve.
Texture
These textures… wow
Perfect transition from dark to light, great use of shadows!
Dissections
More amazing textures! They wrap around the forms like they belong there!
Form Intersections
Excellent work! great hatching and intersections!
Organic Intersections
This too is great! You would do great in future lessons!
Next Steps:
Move on to Lesson 3 and keep it up!
2 users agree
9:50 AM, Friday June 16th 2023
Hello, I’ll be doing your critique today!
Organic Arrows
Good sense of depth, especially on the second page. the hatching is done quite well too.
Organic forms with contour lines
The ellipses rotate although some of them (mainly the ones at the edge) could use more rotation based on the line
The contours aren’t confident, did you try to ghost an ellipse before drawing it? some of them don’t rotate as they should and a lot of them aren’t overshooting so that might be contributing to the issue. This might help you understand my point:
https://d15v304a6xpq4b.cloudfront.net/lesson_images/77f2ca1c.jpg
Texture
The texture analysis is very nicely done! I really like how you handled the brick and the scales.
The dark side seems to be a bit too thick for your gradation making it appear like the texture should be darker there, but the light side is perfect
Dissections
More good looking textures here, I love how some of them interact with each other.
Form Intersections
Good variety of shapes, but it isn’t clear where the intersections are, if there are any. The linework is really light.
https://d15v304a6xpq4b.cloudfront.net/lesson_images/8d4a68c8.jpg
Organic Intersections
You’re not supposed to put shadows on the form that is creating them and some shadows look a bit awkward
https://d15v304a6xpq4b.cloudfront.net/lesson_images/516f8d4f.jpg
You'll get better as you go on, but intersections, ellipses, and organic forms are really important in the later lessons so i just want to know if you understand the concept and you can move on
Next Steps:
I'd like you do do another page of the organic intersections, keep these things in mind:
Can you also send a more clear picture of your form intersections? I really can't where the intersections are.
2 users agree
7:27 PM, Thursday June 15th 2023
Hello, I’ll be doing your critique today!
Organic Arrows
Extremely nice sense of perspective and depth; in some of the arrows you’ve drawn the hatched lines on the outside, we’re trying to indicate a shadow that helps add to the depth like so:
https://d15v304a6xpq4b.cloudfront.net/lesson_images/f875589f.jpg
Organic forms with contour lines
The ellipses are drawn well and they curve along with the sausage well. But they don’t rotate like I’d expect them to. This might help:
https://d15v304a6xpq4b.cloudfront.net/lesson_images/dc19ce85.jpg
Remember that the angle of the ellipse changes depending on the view:
https://i.imgur.com/rXLBxSg.png
The contours have less of an issue with the angles but can be improved still.
Texture
Good analysis, I the last analysis the darkness is starting from left, yet the texture is darkening on the right, but it's fine.
Dissections
Good textures, they wrap around the form well and break the silhouette well.
Form Intersections
It seems like you understand the concept, but some of them (mainly the third page) don’t have the intersections drawn on them.
Organic Intersections
Great sausages, they feel almost real on the first page! Nice shadows on the first page, they seem a little too thin on the second page though.
I hope this helped!
Next Steps:
Redo the 2 pages of Organic Forms with Contour lines (keep the angles in mind and ghost the lines until you are ready)
Complete the missing intersections on the Form Intersections exercise
3 users agree
6:59 PM, Thursday June 15th 2023
Hello, I’ll be doing your critique today!
Organic Arrows
Very nice sense of perspective and depth; in some of the arrows you’ve drawn the hatched lines on the outside, we’re trying to indicate a shadow that helps add to the depth like so:
https://d15v304a6xpq4b.cloudfront.net/lesson_images/f875589f.jpg
Organic forms with contour lines
The ellipses are pretty good, they curve along with the sausage well. But some of them don’t rotate like I’d expect them to. This might help:
https://d15v304a6xpq4b.cloudfront.net/lesson_images/dc19ce85.jpg
The contours seem like a bit of a miss, you aren’t confident or not ghosting enough and that’s making the curves shaky and flat, try to ghost the curves as you do with an ellipse and then draw an overshooting curve.
Texture
The analysis is really good! the cast shadows are properly drawn, the dark-to-light gradient is pretty good too. I can see a few outlines on the last texture but that might just be the part of the texture itself.
Dissections
Amazing work here! you’ve broken the silhouette perfectly and the textures look great and curve with the form, I love the variety too!
Form Intersections
It seems like you understand the concept, good work!
Organic Intersections
Nice, clean sausages, I really feel like that’s how they’d stack up! You’ve even managed to make complex forms look like they belong, great work here! you’ll do well in Lesson 5.
I hope this helped and good luck!
Next Steps:
2 users agree
5:38 PM, Thursday June 15th 2023
Hello, I’ll be doing your critique today!
Organic Arrows
Your lines are confident enough and nice cross-hatching! but in some of your arrows the increase in depth isn’t portrayed properly, take the bottom left arrow on the first page for example, the arrow starts and ends with an increase in depth but the middle part is fairly consistent. Another thing to note is that some of the cross-hatching is done on the outside of the arrow when it should face inside.
This image might help:
https://d15v304a6xpq4b.cloudfront.net/lesson_images/f875589f.jpg
Also, personal opinion, those arrows on the second page look like they would make cool castle flags!
Organic forms with contour lines
The ellipses are pretty good, they curve along with the sausage well. They also follow the motion of the sausage so that good too!
The contours seem like a bit of a miss, your lines aren’t confident so it seems like this was a little hard for you, try to ghost the lines a bit more to get some nice smooth lines.
Texture
The analysis is really good! the cast shadows are properly drawn and there are no outlines, the dark to light gradient is pretty good too.
Dissections
This is amazing, you’ve broken the silhouette perfectly and the textures look great! Some of them on the first page feel flat but you got it perfectly in the second one.
Form Intersections
Some of the shapes look a bit off, the cylinders most of all don’t look natural on the back end, they look static.
Remember, the cylinders change angles:
https://d15v304a6xpq4b.cloudfront.net/lesson_images/dc19ce85.jpg
Organic Intersections
Nice, clean sausages, I really feel like that’s how they’d stack up!
I hope this helped and good luck!
Next Steps:
Move on to Lesson 3!
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