3:10 PM, Saturday May 11th 2024
Heyo. I'll be critiquing your submission with the official critique guide. Without further ado, let's check how you did, aye?
Superimposed lines: There's quite a bit of fraying, but it's clear to me you're drawing confidently, and that's the most important part. However, I'm not sure why, but your overshooting the end points of the initial lines quite a bit. It's said in the materials that you should execute your lines fast so that your brain doesn't have time to do its wobbly corrections, but perhaps you're going a bit too fast? Or you aren't trying to look at where the end point actually is. Either way, it's something to pay attention to when you do these exercises as warmups. For now, you've done good.
Ghosted lines: The page is quite crumbled... Makes it difficult to see whether or not your lines are wobbly. From the other exercises and by matching the crumbles in the paper to the wobbly parts of the lines I'm fairly certain that they aren't wobbling, so it should be alright.
Every now and then it seems you accidentally hit the paper with your pen while ghosting. Nothing to fret over too much, you'll be able to control your pen better the more you practice. There's also a strange curved line... There's only one so it's no big deal, and I bet you already know, but I'll mention just in case: The exercise is supposed to be straight lines only.
You're hitting start point of the line most of the time well, and when you miss it it's only a little. Meanwhile, you tend to overshoot the end point or missing it by a small margin. Meaning, going by the levels of the exercise, you're close to the level 2 portion. This is good; in the future, what you should pay most attention to is to get closer to the actual end point when doing your lines.
One more thing: It's clear that you're doing exercises on both sides of the paper. This is not a bad thing, but in your case the ink from your pen is bleeding through the other side, which makes it a bit more difficult for both you, in doing other exercises on the other side, and for people who critique your work, in that it makes it a tad harder to see what's going on in each page. However, if you're like me and really don't want to waste paper, you might want to take a photo of your exercise first, and then later on fill the other side with warmups or whatever else you're drawing.
Tables of ellipses: You seem to have grasped the exercise mostly, but there are some things that we need to pay attention to:
You started off with drawing through the ellipses four or more times. The recommendation is from two to three; anything more is redundant. However, as you progressed through the exercise, you dropped down to three iterations, and eventually to two. This is good progress. Well done!
Sometimes, you vary the angles of the ellipses in a single frame. You should strive to keep all the ellipses in a similar shape within one frame. Before filling in the gaps with smaller ellipses, that is.
There are a few split frames where it seems you're haphazardly drawing circles without trying to hit any edges. I'm not sure if this is intentional or just you trying to draw circles that don't "properly" fit the frame. I can't tell what you think, so give this some thought yourself and try to understand why this happens. Or you can reply to this post with your reasoning, if you're so willing.
For some reason, you haven't finished the pages... Actually, it seems to me the paper is bigger than a standard A4. Did you perhaps try to do the exercise as if you were drawing on an A4? That would be fine, I suppose.
All in all, while there are many pecularities in your submission, they aren't anything that warrants a re-do, at least in my opinion. Just more things to keep in mind when you do these as your warmups in the future.
Ghosted planes + Ellipses in planes: These are looking good. We're already seeing progress in your lines and ellipses. Very good! There's nothing more to add here that I haven't already said above. You might want to try fit in a bit more planes in the future, though; they can almost touch each other, like what's seen in the example
Funnels: You're keeping the ellipses inside the arc, and keeping most of them aligned to the minor axis. Additionally, you even took on the optional challenge, with satisfying results. Good on you!
You only have four funnels in a page. It seems you started a fifth, but I'm guessing you stopped because it was overlapping a bit with the other one? Either way, there's still space to do more, and you should always try to fill a page completely. You can go back and do one extra funnel for funsies, but it's not a requirement to pass. You'll be doing these as warmups, anyways.
Plotted perspective: Lookin' good, most of it. You did 4 - 5 boxes per frame, when the instruction is 5 - 6; the result will (and already does with just 4 boxes) look very confusing, but it's on purpose, because eventually when you start dabbling on the construction side of this course, you'll be doing a lot of these kinds of lines. Building up the skill to be able to see through the jungle of lines is the reason for the recommendation. It's fine for now, but in the future try to keep to the instructions, the exercises are done the way they are for a reason.
For some reason, you're drawing through the back lines multiple times, and some other lines too. Are you free-handing them? You're supposed to use the ruler for the entirety of the exercise. Or maybe your ruler just slipped?
Other than that, the homework is all good. Do note that despite me picking on all these small mistakes, it still seems clear to me that you're trying hard to follow the instructions (although every so often you seem to take your own liberties, for whatever reason (that may actually be decent reasons!)), and that plus confidence in your marks is the most important part for now.
Rough perspective: Again, you undershot the instruction by doing four boxes each frame instead of 5 - 6. I won't dwell more on it because I've already explained it twice.
Another thing that is happening here is that every now and then you are drawing a line multiple times. This might occur because you're trying to "fix" a mark that didn't go as you planned. There should ever be one mark: When you touch your pen on the paper to draw a line, any chance to avoid a mistake has already passed. And it's okay if it's not a perfectly executed line! The most important thing for now is to learn to draw confidently. Accuracy is something you'll get better at slowly as you keep drawing, both for studies and everything else. Don't worry about being perfect, just do confident strokes.
Another reason I see people do these kinds of lines is because their fineliners are dying out. I'm not sure if this is happening to you, but if nothing else then for future reference: Try and rotate the pen around, perhaps even draw from a higher angle, more perpendicular to the paper. If that doesn't work out, then it might be time to get a new fineliner. You may also be pressing the pen too hard on the page, which crushes the nib, inhibiting the ink flow.
Other than that, your submission is as it should be: One-point perspective with the vanishing point around the center, the sides facing the viewer have horizontal and vertical sides, and all sides are drawn free-hand. Good work!
Organic perspective: It's more clear here that your pen might actually be dying. Refer to what I wrote two paragraphs ago.
Besides that, these are well-drawn boxes, just as expected! You're playing around with different perspectives, and the convergences of each side is something you put thought into. Good job!
Also, at this point we can clearly see the improvement with your lines, as they aren't overshooting the end-points so much anymore. Damn you're good!
Rotated boxes: It's a little confusing to look at, what with the messy dots, extra lines and crumpled paper, but it doesn't look like there's anything new here, at least mistake-wise.
First thing first, a reiteration: Don't draw over lines multiple times. Commit to the mark, and live with the mistakes.
That aside, you've done quite well on converging the boxes around the middle one, giving them that rotating look. The sides of the boxes are packed closely to each other, leaving only small gaps. A minor thing: The squares at the middle and the sides were supposed to be drawn with a ruler.
The general messiness makes it hard to see, but it seems that you're missing some back sides and corner boxes. You should try and finish those before moving on. After that, it's a job well done!
Conclusion
There are many points where you need to keep your mind on, but at the same time, you've clearly put a lot of effort in these exercises. You started with overshooting the end points of each line wildly, but this has considerably improved just by completing lesson 1. You started with drawing through ellipses too many times, but still managed to lower that amount to the recommended amount by the end. It's clear for everyone to see the amount of improvement you're having. You're going towards the right direction!
The boxes are where things get quite messy, both metaphorically and, in your case, literally. I'm still not 100% sure what exactly causes all the mess in your paper, but you might want to try out drawing with a higher angle and with less pressure (a fineliner really only needs to touch paper to leave a mark, there's no need to press it). If either of those fail, you might want to invest in a new fineliner. It might also be dissatisfaction with your accuracy, in which case you should just move on. There are much more lines to come, and you'll learn accuracy in due time.
Having said all that, you still grasped the idea behind the box exercises. I don't find any reason for you to re-do any of the exercises, because whatever mistakes you had (other than the messiness), you'll be tackling those again and again when doing these exercises as warmups and while doing your 50%.
For future exercises, you should try to focus on the instructions a bit more. There have been some minor divergences in what the instructions ask and what you try to do - again, nothing that demands revisions. The course has been made this way to teach you draw in a certain manner; if you divert from these teachings, you may end up with ideas in your head that will hurt you in the long run. Trust the process. If you are unsure about something, you may want to hop on to Discord and ask.
You should also try to make the papers look a little more clean, to make it easier for both you and whoever gives you critique to see your work properly. Keep the papers stored in a place where they don't get crumpled up, and don't draw on the other side of the paper if the ink bleeds through, at least until you've taken a photo of the complete homework.
That's all from me. You've done a phenomenal job! Next up is the monster of a task that is 250 boxes. You've already proven you have understood the idea behind drawing boxes, so I'm sure you'll manage. Take it slow, don't rush, and keep up with your warmups and 50%!
Next Steps:
250 boxes challenge
