mrmokhnach

Giver of Life

Joined 5 years ago

1925 Reputation

mrmokhnach's Sketchbook

  • Sharing the Knowledge
  • Giver of Life
  • Dimensional Dominator
  • Basics Brawler
    1 users agree
    1:24 PM, Thursday December 31st 2020

    Hello,

    Arrows: the linework is very wobbly - it looks like you're using your wrist to draw those, you should use your shoulder instead

    Contours-ellipses: OK

    Contours-curves: too wobbly again

    Texture: OK

    Intersections: OK, shadows should follow the forms more though

    Next Steps:

    You got the concepts from the lesson and can move to Lesson 3, though I suggest working a bit on better line quality first

    This community member feels the lesson should be marked as complete. In order for the student to receive their completion badge, this critique will need 2 agreements from other members of the community.
    1 users agree
    10:16 AM, Tuesday December 22nd 2020

    Hello again! Feedback for Lesson 2.

    Organic Arrows - Well done on the line quality, it is smooth and confident. I'm not sure if you did line weight on all the bends, but the ones that are distinctly heavier are smooth and good too. There are a few hatching mistakes here and there that confuse the perspective a bit (eg. bottom-right arrow on Page 2 looks like it's spiralling around; also left-middle arrow on Page 2 on the bottom-most bend), but you got most of them correct!

    You've done a great job on making the 2 edges of the ribbons flow consistently with each other, but I think the ribbons can decrease in size as it gets farther from the viewer. This "mistakes" picture from Uncomfy's lesson shows how the ribbon width should be compressing as it moves away from the viewer. It's tricky to draw that while maintaining consistent bending, but I see you've made an effort to do that on most of the arrows. The best examples you've done are - middle downward-pointing arrow on Page 1; middle right-pointing arrow on Page 2; bottom-left arrow on Page 2. You can practice in warmups for L3: draw ribbons that are changing in size more extremely with each bend. It's tricky to do at first but it will come with practice!

    Organic forms with contour - Looks great. You've kept the sausage forms simple as the exercise says, and ellipses are confidently drawn and following the minor axis line. The ellipse degrees stay the same however, they should be changing in size across the sausage (also see this pic). The contour lines are a little bit wobbly, but they get more confident in Organic Intersections, so no issue here.

    Texture analysis - All the drawing is purposeful (no scribbling), the transition from dark to light is smooth, and you demonstrated that you understood the purpose of the exercise - which is to identify and draw cast shadows of textures. The middle texture has a little bit of outlining in the dark left side of the section, but it looks like you switched to correct focus on the cast shadows in the middle and white right side. (If you wanted to add more emphasis in the dark section, I think you can surround each flakey bit completely in a black shadow.) I think you did a great job here!

    Dissections - Some of the textures had a bit more outlines instead of shadows (eg. oil bubbles, woven basket), and a few textures can wrap around the sausage a bit more (eg. wooden board). But this is nitpicky stuff, overall I think you did well on cast shadows, silhouettes, and wrapping the texture around the 3-D form.

    Form intersections - The main focus of the exercise is not so much the intersections, as giving a realistic impression that all the solids are sitting together in 3-D space without distortion (extreme foreshortening) or contradictory perspective. I think you've accomplished that here.

    Organic intersections - Cast shadows are draping nicely over the forms underneath, there is a sense of volume and weight to the sausages. Well done!

    Congrats on finishing L2, I've given a bit of nitpicky feedback here and there, but overall you show a grasp of 3-D forms and volume, and demonstrate in your homework that you understand the purpose of the exercises. Really good work - have fun applying what you learned so far to L3!

    Next Steps:

    Have fun in Lesson 3. If you want to use L2 for warmups, I think Organic Arrows and Organic Forms with contour are the most beneficial ones.

    This community member feels the lesson should be marked as complete. In order for the student to receive their completion badge, this critique will need 2 agreements from other members of the community.
    1 users agree
    8:07 PM, Monday December 7th 2020

    I was in a similar situation not too long before, with the exception that I stopped at the last steps of lesson 1 and not before the challenge. And because it wasn't too much, as well as there was new videos added when I came back (some new lesson 0 vids), I was able to review everything and start anew, so that it only took me a few days until I was the point where I stopped.

    In your case, however, since the lesson 1 exercises are mainly there for warmup and "getting started" reasons, I'd say the same like Liska and recommend you to continue where you left off. Muscle memory stays for way, way longer than just a few months. You'd need to get used to it again, but it for sure won't take long; that's what I know for sure ever since I quit Badminton for a year and still got all the moves and techniques I learned even just closely beforehand.

    1 users agree
    10:09 PM, Friday December 4th 2020

    You can create a 3D model to clear your doubts about how a certain volume intersects with another. If you want you can check my intersections library on Sketchup's 3D Warehouse:

    https://3dwarehouse.sketchup.com/model/2d4f082b-42b1-4eb8-acf3-92ed84f29946/Form-Intersections

    1 users agree
    2:02 AM, Thursday December 3rd 2020

    Hey there! I'm on this lesson now and a few things I've noticed while practicing arrows lots and comparing them to the lesson examples. In the example, you'll notice how the curves and angles of the arrows align with each other. This way, when the lines are draw in to connect the curves, it's clear where the arrow is changing directions and what not. It gives the arrow that clean, sweeping look. I tried to show the aligning curves in this image.

    https://imgur.com/a/ovEHWLM

    1 users agree
    8:35 PM, Wednesday December 2nd 2020

    It took me a while but I finally got reasonable at this. Things I learned were.

    Arm needs to flow from shoulder for both top and bottom lines.

    Always be looking a the next turn back to judge your curveback right. It helps keep your vertical alignment.

    And from Uncomfortable's feedback to me, remember perspective. In particular the lines should overlap and compress more as it comes towards you.

    But like most things practice. Look at what doesn't look right. Isolate that and practice it. Then try again.

    1 users agree
    5:52 PM, Tuesday December 1st 2020

    Definitely start the challenge.

    You will practice thousands of ghosted lines, super imposed lines and of course boxes. Add the warm up to it, and you see that there's no reason to go back.

    Maybe read the material again to refresh your memory. This course is dense with information.

    1 users agree
    3:10 PM, Monday November 23rd 2020

    Hello Siwead!

    It is great you are analyzing your work but it maybe best to write those notes down somewhere else or after you take a photo of the exercise you have done. If the person critiquing sees the notes you or whomever else they may decide to leave stuff out that maybe valuable information to you. You will get a lot of information and you yourself can decide what you want to take in.

    Organic Arrows

    Nice overlaps you are getting here. Try to get the width of the arrow and the space between the arrow overlaps to increase as it comes towards the viewer and decrease as it goes away. With your hatching lines, they may work better if they are parallel to the line that depicts the edge of the arrow as it bends. It is also good to work on your lineweight, especially on curves. You may mess up the arrows but that's okie, it means you are learning!

    Organic Forms with contour lines

    The ellipses are fitting well into the sausage forms. For some of the it looks like the ellipses have a very similar degree, you an try exaggerating them to creat an interesting bend to the form. The other thing is to be careful with the alignment of your ellipses to the axis/spine of the sausage. By getting a solid sausage form down from the beginning with a center line (axis/spine) that centered properly it will be much easier to achieve this and see the issue when your ellipses are off so make sure to take your time.

    Texture Analysis

    Really cool simplified shapes you have going here. I think the simplification you have is good but you may want to add more information and detail in the middle areas. The area towards the dark will be engulfed in shadow and the light area will be over exposed. When solely doing the observation try to take as much information and detail as you can and you can use that when creating the gradient.

    Dissections

    Awesome detail here! Some of the textures are flattening the form so really try and imagine how they would wrap around the sausage. This is a very tough thing to do, especially with very detailed and weird textures. Another thing to add is how light would affect these textures. I like to thing of myself, the viewer, as the light source. so the middle of the sausage will be overexposed while the darker areas would be on the edge of the form.

    Form Intersection

    Great job here, you dont have any over stretched forms, your forms are interconnected to eachother. To make things clearer, add some lineweight to the places that overlap and show which parts are infront of another. I find it is also nice to add some hatching on some planes to clear things up, its also more practice making nice parallel lines. With the pyramids, the closer the bottom square plane's lines are to parallel, the closer we are to looking at the square plane straight on meaning we wont be able to see the tip of the pyramid on the other side. You will get lots of chances to work on cylinders throughout the next lessons and the 250 cylinders challenge. What I can say now is to remember the degrees of the elipses will always be a bit different from eachother.

    Organic Intersection

    This is a tough exercise, the individual forms are simple and are solid. However it looks like you struggled with having them interact with eachother. Try imagining dropping them on top of eachother one by one with out worrying about anything else and see how they flop onto eachother. Let them overlap, or the sense of depth will be killed. When creating shadows it is always good to think about where the light source is coming from. in this exercise it is best to have it straight above, this will make it way easier to understand how they would form.

    Great job here and remember to continue using these exercises to strengthen your weak areas. For me its the texture :P

    Good luck on Lesson 3:)

    Next Steps:

    Continue to use these lessons as exercises and move on to lesson 3!!

    This community member feels the lesson should be marked as complete. In order for the student to receive their completion badge, this critique will need 2 agreements from other members of the community.
    1 users agree
    10:24 AM, Monday November 9th 2020

    This is my first feedback and english is not my native language so I hope you will be able to understand what I'm trying to say. I also want to add that I am going to be 100% honnest, I'm not gonna reply with empty comments because I don't think it's gonna help you improve.

    First of all, you should think more about the beginning of your superimposed lines. They're lacking a clear beginning point and they shouldn't. Don't hesitate to ghost your lines a lot even with this exercise. In that regard, I think your second page of superimposed lines is way better, since you focused more on the beginning of the lines. Your understanding of the curved lines could have evolved a lot more if you tried to draw different positions. All your curved lines look the same and it's not ideal.

    Your ghosted lines are a bit artificial and they could be way straighter. Once again, you should think more about the first point of your lines (it isn't crucial that your line ends specifically on the second point but it should at least start on the first.) I also think that you should draw more with the shoulder since your lines aren't very confident.

    Your ghosted planes lines are way straighter and more confident than on the last exercise. However, your planes are often open, and that's a problem. Don't hesitate to push the line all the way through. Most of your ellipses are pretty good, but be careful of the ones that are a bit "spiky", they should be round not triangular.

    Unfortunatly, I don't think your tables of ellipses are correct because your ellipses often float in the air. They should always follow a kind of rythme. I hope I'm not saying non-sense but I think you should redo a page of this exercise, trying to fit the ellipses into your lines. Try rereading the explanation of the exercise, it could help! And look at the examples uncomfortable provided us.

    Your funnel exercise works pretty well, but I think you should have done more ellipses (you shouldn't do only one, you should always do at least 2 ellipses and maximum 3, like you did on the ghosted planes exercise).

    The red lines in your rough perspective exercise shouldn't connect to the VP you tried to aim but they should continue the lines of your boxes. I don't think this is a huge mistake but you shouldn't forget that since it's the same idea with the 250 boxes challenge that you're gonna have to do after words.

    Your rotated boxes exercise is unfortunately not correct. It is very hard exercise but you should try and tackle the challenge. I think you should re-read the exercise explanations and look at other students work. Don't lose hope, this exercise is REALLY hard but trying to surpass the huge challenges of this exercise is gonna help you to know what you should improve when you're doing the 250 boxes challenge!

    I hope my critique will help you improve! I know it's harsh to ask you to redo exercises on the first lessons, but since I am not asking you to grind, I think it's really going to be beneficial. Good luck, and have a nice day!

    Next Steps:

    You should redo one page of table of ellipses

    You should try to do the rotated boxes exercise like Uncomfortable shows it (Don't aim for perfection, but try to do the exercise)

    When finished, reply to this critique with your revisions.
    1 users agree
    1:35 AM, Friday October 30th 2020

    Hello! first of all, I wanted to point out the progress on the lines, it's difficult to keep them straight at the first time doing drawabox, but I'm happy that at the final pages you managed to improve them a lot, they still needs some work but you are doing well. Remember to always use the right anchor point of you arm, and be constantly practicing them.

    Now, being specific with the exercises:

    Lines:
    
    1)  Superimposed Lines: As usuall with this exercise there is some fraying, that by the last page you seem to control, you are doing well in this aspect.
    
    2) Ghosted Lines: You are getting them right, the first ones are a bit overshooted but by the end of the page you are controlling them better, and that is shown in the next exercise.
    
    3)  Ghosted Planes: They are ok, the lines get to the point, sometimes they wobble a little bit but is expected, nothing to worry about, it'll go away with the time and warm ups.
    
    Ellipses:
    
    I'll sum up the ellipses part because they all share the same aspects. I know its hard to get them in position and do the repetitions right (i've been in this place too), and most of the ellipses have the same problem, that they are way too far from the edge of each boundary, or too overshooted from it. Remember to do as much ghosting as you need to visualize where you want the ellipse to be. This is nothing to worry about, as with the wobble in the lines, this will just go away with the time and warmups. Confidence is key here, later on you'll find out that just 2 laps is more than enough to get an ellipse right.
    
    For Revision i'd like to ask you to do another page of Ellipses in Planes, and another one of Funnels.
    
    Boxes:
    
    1)  Plotted Perspective: This exercise is ok, this one is mostly to set things up for the rough perspective one, so i hope you learned everything from it
    
    2)  Rough Perspective: Well, most of the lines converge really close to the vanishing point, wich is good, and shows that you are ghosting correctly, and have a sense of perspective, nice job.
    
    3)  Rotated Boxes: This one is really rough at first, and you have a good try. If you feel like it, you can practice it again, it'll came very handy later on.(it's not necessary to submit it again, just do it as personal practice if you want).
    
    4)  Organic Perspective:  Its good, you could try to go for some different rotations and sizes, but later on the 250 box challenge you will have plenty of time to try. One thing that I notice here is that some of the shorter lines are a little wobbly, maybe it's because you are doing them slowly, wich you shouldn't, that gives place to loose the needed confidence, be fast with every line no matter the size.

    Next Steps:

    As I said before, I'd like to ask you to do another page of Ellipses in Planes, and another one of Funnels. I've chosen these 2 because here you are pushed to follow the borders of the planes and nearby ellipses, wich with enough practice really improves confidence in drawing them.

    When finished, reply to this critique with your revisions.
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