laurada

Dimensional Dominator

Joined 3 months ago

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laurada's Sketchbook

  • Sharing the Knowledge
  • Dimensional Dominator
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    12:45 PM, Wednesday May 22nd 2024

    Hi, I'm laura, I'll try to do your critique.

    First, congratulations on finishing all the homework, it's a lot of work.

    From a quick look at all the work, it seems like you have trouble with spatial reasoning in 3D, i.e imagining the things in 3D space interacting with each other, looking at your lesson 1 submission also raises the same suspicion, to help with that specifically, I would recommend you try to do the rotated boxes and organic boxes again after rewatching the videos and reading the pages.

    Thinking in 3D

    Arrows - The flow of the lines often don't feel very confident, the arrows hesitate to overlap, their compression often doesn't change in a way that tells which way is towarads you(https://d15v304a6xpq4b.cloudfront.net/lesson_images/011d064f.jpg https://d15v304a6xpq4b.cloudfront.net/lesson_images/0f7c806c.jpg https://drawabox.com/lesson/2/organicarrows), try to do another page of the arrows, make them narrow at the back and wider as they get closer.

    Organic Forms - The sausages themselves are good, simple, long smooth-ish lines, with the centerline often going through the center of the sausage(the centerline is a guide, you want to try to get it as central through the sausage as you can), for the ellipses they are mostly aligned well, change in angle as they leave the center, and touch the sausage/boundaries, as they should. As for the curves, it looks like you drew the curves multiple times, which is probably a confusion from having to go through the ellipses, they're not supposed to be drawn over multiple times, only once. But otherwise they are hooking at the ends, are aligned, and do change in angle as they get away from the center, so good job on that.(there's one sausage where the contour circle at the end is on a side that would be facing away from the viewer as per the curves, when looking at the sausage, the direction the curves are facing(the side with the curved line, not the 2 hooks) is the direction facing away from you, the contour circle represents the side facing you.) I'll ask you to redo that one page of contour curves on the sausages.

    Texture and Detail

    Texture Analysis - The paper has some shadow shapes, though quite a lot of lines, with this exercise you intend to mostly fill in the cast shadows you see, they can get thin to the point of having to utilize lines for them, but utilizing lines can get you to fall back into outlining objects, so try to prioritize making shadows shapes until you're more comfortable(okay, less uncomfortable) with texture. Otherwise, it seems like you started to get it as you went through the textures.

    Dissections - You actually did really well. The sillhouettes are broken by the textures, they wrap around the sausages, are often full of shadow shapes, implicit texturing, there are a few cases where it feelsa bit explicit, namely the chicken wings, thegrass(some of it bordors on outlining), jaguar fur(it looks like you were drawing its values, not how the fur actually looks ignoring its colours, which would just be fur), and hay(seems like outlining again.). You did really well, keep it up.

    Construction

    Form Intersections - I'll speak for the forms themselves first, on the boxeson pages, most boxes have diverging edges, make sure to put care into building the boxes and go through the motions to find your corners, otherwise all forms have the same sizes and feel like they occupy the same space, so you did well on main objective of this exercise. As for the intersections, it seems you didn't understand how different forms intersect with each other. It looks like you misundestood that all intersections must be rectangles? I have trouble explaining it myself, but I drew over your first page to show you what the intersections roughly should've been. I encourage you to reread the exercsie(https://drawabox.com/lesson/2/formintersections) and rewatch its video, as well as the the ScyllaStew recording at the bottom, and maybe check other resources about it online. This is just an introduction to intersections so I won't request a revision over it, but I highly recommend you try to do another page of box intersections after researching the concept more.

    Organic Intersections - the sausages themsevles are alright(though with the repeated curves again), simple and are supported by others with some weight, but the shadows seem to stick to the form that casts them, they don't cast on the form beneath, following its form(https://drawabox.com/lesson/2/9/shadows), try rewatching the video and rereading the parts of the exercise about the shadows, I drew over the first paage to show roughly how the shadows should go, try to add to the shadows on your second page to follow the forms that they're casted on.

    Summary

    Some understanding, good execution of what was understood, though it seems you struggle with spatial reasoning and things concerning that show, complete the requested revisions and we'll see whether I can give more specific feedback based on that, but feel free to ask any questions if you have any.

    https://imgur.com/a/FK5GW4r

    Next Steps:

    1 page arrows

    1 page sausages with contour curves

    make the shadows wrap on the casted sausages in the second page of organic intersections.

    When finished, reply to this critique with your revisions.
    2 users agree
    1:58 PM, Saturday May 11th 2024

    Hi, I'm laura, I'll 'do a critique.

    Thinking in 3D

    Arrows - The flows of the lines are smooth, getting smaller farther away and bigger closer, with compression on the depth and intesity of the waves, the shading is in the correct places, though the lines used for it often look a bit rushed, make sure to give every line the same amount of attention and to ghost through them.

    Organic Forms - The sausages themselves are good, simple, long swoopy lines, with the centerline often being exactly through the center, for the ellipses they are aligned well, change in angle as they leave the center, and touch the sausage/boundaries, as they should. As for the curves, most are a bit shaky(though this will reduce with practice, ghost them a few times before doing them to reduce it), they seem to change in angle as the leave the center, and correctly follow the form they're on, good job.

    Texture and Detail

    Texture Analysis - The paper has a lot of shadow shapes, though a fair bit of lines too, with this exercise you intend to mostly mfill in the cast shadows you see, they can get thin to the point of having to utilize lines for them, but utilizing lines can get you to fall back into outlining objects, so try to prioritize making shadows shapes until you're more comfortable(okay, less uncomfortable) with texture, otherwise the ice cream looks good, and what I assume is hair or fur too, though the lines in the hair makes it feel a bit more explicit(shadow shapes!), but you're onto the right track, and overall understood what you're supposed to do.

    Dissections - The first page shows shows a good variety of textures that wrap with deep light variances, which are excellent for learning, the more of a range you can capture the better, as well as a lot of sillhouette breakage, the second page expands on that and hase some really contrasting ones, with a lot of thicker and more defined shadow shapes.

    Construction

    Form Intersections - first as an overview, all your forms look good, with consistent convergence and size, and the intersections on them too. On the boxes-only one, a few boxes have diverging lines, make sure to pay more attention to how you construct your boxes. There are also a few instances of repeated lines, make sure to ghost more and let the lines that go poorly be, hiding them under another line is a lost learning opportunity. Likewise the hatching lines on the faces can be a bit wobbly at times, ghosting them can help with that.

    Organic Intersections - confident simple forms with maybe 2 complex ones, contour lines that define the forms, the shadows follow the forms under them, and all supported by forms under them, good job on that. All I can really add is to try to think of the sausages as more of a bunch of long water balloons, as some don't have much of a feeling of weight and how it affects them and their neighbours.

    Summary

    Well understood the concepts and executed them very well, remember to apply the tips mentioned in your warmups, you're good to go to the next Lesson.

    Also,it looks like you were drawing on both sides of the paper, it makes it harder to critique your work and can be detrimental to you as the visual noise can confuse you, please work only on one side of the paper for any subsequent submissions.

    Next Steps:

    Add all exercises to your warmups and proceed onto Lesson 3.

    This community member feels the lesson should be marked as complete, and 2 others agree. The student has earned their completion badge for this lesson and should feel confident in moving onto the next lesson.
    2 users agree
    2:01 PM, Wednesday May 8th 2024

    Hi, I'm Laura, I'll do your critique.

    Lines

    Superimposed lines are good, all fray only on one side, try looking only at the endpoint while doing drawing them to reduce mid-course corrections.

    Ghosted lines are a bit wobbly, put it reduces a lot by the second page of ghosted planes, and turns into mostly arcing at that point, good job.

    To help with the arcing, consciously use your should more to do the strokes, and try to arc the line in the opposite direction if that helps.

    Ellipses

    Table ellipses are good, a bit lumpy at first but get better in the secong page, are drawn through 3 times usually.

    Again, using your shoulder more will help, minimizing movement from the wrist and elbow, also try to closely follow the first rotation you made to tighten the bundles of wire.

    Ghosted planes are a bit deformed, fit their confines well, but look a bit wobbly at times, which could indicate either going too slow or not using the shoulder as much, so same tips as on the previous one, and try going a bit faster with the ellipses.

    The ellipses in the funnels feel even more wobbly, but otherwise were correctly aligned and placed on the minor axis.

    Boxes

    Plotted perspective was done as instructed, only some slanting in the bach edges(give yourself more time to align your ruler, but yeah it gets pretty visually noisy so it's understandable.)

    Rough perspective is all well, first page has some wobbly lines, which reduces in the second, rememeber to ghost your lines and use your shoulder.

    Rotated boxes are really good, consistent gaps, good rotation, and all drawn through, good job.

    Organic perspective shows a cohesive scene with good depth and mostly converging boxes, only the lines wobble a bit sometimes.

    Summary

    You understood all the concepts taught, applied them well, and progressed through the pages, I think you're good to go to the 250 box challenge, remember the tips mentioned and apply them in your warmups.

    Next Steps:

    Add all lesson 1 exercises to your warmups and proceed onto the 250 Box Challenge.

    This community member feels the lesson should be marked as complete, and 2 others agree. The student has earned their completion badge for this lesson and should feel confident in moving onto the next lesson.
    1 users agree
    2:05 PM, Tuesday May 7th 2024

    Hi, I'm Laura, I'll do your critique.

    Lines

    Superimposed lines - Starts with fraying on both sides, reduces on what I assume is the second page, give yourself more time to put down the pen, but othrwise you did pretty good.

    Ghosted Lines & Planes - some wobble at first, but reduces later, try to look at the end of point of your line when executing it(to reduce mid-cource correction urges), and some arcing later on, and try to more consciously use your shoulder to execute the strokes, rotate the page to a more comfortable angle, and try to intentionally arc the line in the opposite direction to cancel it out if it persists.

    Ellipses

    Table ellipses - Some of your ellipses have less than 2 rotations through them, this doesn't let you refine and follow through the ellipse on the second rotation, please draw through your ellipses 2-3 times, and Some of your ellipses are uneven, I recommend trying to use your shoulder more consciously and trying to minimize movement from the wrist or elbow, try to follow through your ellipses as closely as you can on the second rotation, as well as ghosting through them before you put them down.(Also try going faster or slower with each ellipse to see what turns out better)

    Ellipses in planes - Same as above really, focus on getting smooth ellipses first, as some of them are quite deformed.

    Funnels - Most ellipses are exactly on the minor axis, fit with each other well, but same notes as on the previous two overall.

    Boxes

    Plotted perspective - Pretty good, though the hatching lines look a bit rushed, ghosting through them a bit should help make them nicer.

    Rough perspective - Looks good, only you didn't extend the lines out(https://drawabox.com/lesson/1/20/step9), i'll ask you to extend your lines on the boxes and reply with them.

    Rotated Boxes - Looks good, except you're missing 3 boxes on each corner (https://drawabox.com/lesson/1/21/step8), finish the missing boxes and reply withem.(You don't have to remake the entire page, just finish the missing ones)

    Organic Perspective - Missing, you may have forgotten to add them, please reply with them when you find the pictures or finish them.

    Summary

    Good overall, just missing organic perspective and needs finishing on the rotated boxes and rough perspective.

    Next Steps:

    2 pages organic perspective(send the ones you did, or do them and send)

    Extend the lines on rough perspective.

    Add the missing boxes to the rotated boxes, 3 in each corner.

    When finished, reply to this critique with your revisions.
    1:40 PM, Tuesday May 7th 2024

    Thank you for the critique senj.

    3 users agree
    1:58 PM, Thursday May 2nd 2024

    Hi, I'm Laura, I'll do your critique.

    Lines

    Superimposed Lines - Fraying on one side, which is expected, some wobble, make sure you're using your shoulder, and look at the end point of the line while drawing it, it should help get it there.

    Ghosted Lines & Ghosted Planes - Pretty good, there's some arcing, can be helped with more consciously using your shoulder to execute the strokes, and trying to intentionally arch the line in the opposite direction to cancel it out if it persists, as well as rotating your pages.

    Understood the exercises and executed them well.

    Ellipses

    Table Ellipses - Nice, drawn through 2-3 times as instructed, mostly fit their sorroundings, often tight second rotation , try to minimize movement from the elbow or wrist(This section helps with more explanation https://drawabox.com/lesson/1/16/remember), and try following through the ellipse as closely as you can on the second rotation as well as ghosting each ellipse before you even put it down, and try to experiment going faster or slower with each ellipse to see what turns out better.

    Ellipses in planes - Same as the previous one, but try to not worry as much about fitting the ellipses exactly inside planes, smoother ellipses are more important initially.

    Funnels - All are aligned to the minor axis and evenly divided by it, fit their borders, remember to use your shoulder and follow the first rotation closely, and try to change the angle of the ellipses more as they get farther from the center.

    Overall you understood the assignments and showed progress.

    Boxes

    Plotted perspective- Good, there are some slightly slanted lines in the back, give yourself more time to align the ruler and check that you're on the right corners, and it looks like the hatching is a bit rushed, try to ghost those lines a bit to help make them nicer.

    Rough perspective - nice, but if you're repeating lines when they turned out bad at first, don't, let them be, you'll learn from not trying to hide your mistakes, and build confidence from it.

    Rotated boxes - Drew all the boes, rotated them well, the gaps were kept consistent, you did well.

    Organic Perspective - the boxes look consistent, have shallow convergence(some diverge, but it's okay, you'll get better with the 250 boxes), vary in rotation, and scale with depth, good job!

    You understood the concepts and applied them well.

    Summary

    Did well, make sure to apply the mentioned tips, good luck on the 250 boxes!

    Next Steps:

    Add all Lesson 1 exercises to your warmup poll and continue onto the 250 Box challenge.

    This community member feels the lesson should be marked as complete, and 3 others agree. The student has earned their completion badge for this lesson and should feel confident in moving onto the next lesson.
    2 users agree
    1:46 PM, Thursday May 2nd 2024

    Hi, I'm Laura, I'll do your critique.

    Lines

    Superimposed Lines - Fraying on one side, which is expected, some large scale wobble, which alos happens, experiment going faster and slower to see what helps, and look at the end point of the line while drawing it, it should help get it there.

    Ghosted Lines & Ghosted Planes - Pretty good, there's some arcing, can be helped with more consciously using your shoulder to execute the strokes, and trying to intentionally arch the line in the opposite direction to cancel it out if it persists, as well as rotating your pages.

    Understood and well executed the Lines part of the lesson.

    Ellipses

    Table Ellipses - Nice, drawn through 2-3 times as instructed, fit their sorroundings, quite wobbly initially though, try to minimize movement from the elbow or wrist(This section helps with more explanation https://drawabox.com/lesson/1/16/remember), and try following through the ellipse as closely as you can on the second rotation as well as ghosting each ellipse before you even put it down, and try to experiment going faster or slower with each ellipse to see what turns out better.

    Ellipses in planes - Same as the previous one, but try to not worry as much about fitting the ellipses exactly inside planes, smoother ellipses are more important initially.

    Funnels - All are mostly aligned to the minor axis and evenly divided by it, fit their borders, remember to use your shoulder and follow the first rotation closely, and try to change the anble of the ellipses as they get farther from the center.

    Overall you understood the assignments.

    Boxes

    Plotted perspective- Good, there are some slanted lines in the back, give yourself more time to align the ruler and check that you're on the right corners.

    Rough perspective - nice, some mave slanted lines, which happens, give yourself more time to plan them out.

    Rotated boxes - Drew all the boes, rotated them well, the gaps were kept consistent, you did well.

    Organic Perspective - the boxes look consistent, have shallow convergence, vary in rotation, and scale with depth, good job!

    You understood the concepts and applied them well.

    Summary

    Did really well, only ellipses are a bit weak, just apply the tips mentioned in your warmups and you should be good.

    Next Steps:

    Add all Lesson 1 exercises to your warmup poll and continue onto the 250Box challenge.

    This community member feels the lesson should be marked as complete, and 2 others agree. The student has earned their completion badge for this lesson and should feel confident in moving onto the next lesson.
    1:16 PM, Monday April 29th 2024

    This should explain it: https://drawabox.com/lesson/0/3/warmups

    As for picking which exercises, this can help: https://mark-gerarts.github.io/draw-a-card/index.html

    (You can change which exercises it will pick from in Settings on the top right.)

    11:20 AM, Monday April 29th 2024

    Good job on the ellipses, they're noticeably smoother, fitting them should get better through practice.

    As for the organic perspective, you did well, boxes have good converging lines, a good variety of rotations, they all feel like they occupy the same space, and get smaller with depth in the image.

    Only thing I have to say is about the hatching, it looks a bit rushed, I would recommend to ghost those lines too, it would help with consistency and getting them to end where they should.

    I'll mark it as complete, add all lesson 1 exercises to your warmup pool and move onto the 250 Box Challenge.

    Next Steps:

    Add all lesson 1 exercises to your warmup pool and move onto the 250 Box Challenge.

    This community member feels the lesson should be marked as complete, and 2 others agree. The student has earned their completion badge for this lesson and should feel confident in moving onto the next lesson.
    11:05 AM, Monday April 29th 2024

    As for the finger friction, this talks about it a bit: https://drawabox.com/lesson/1/2/hoverhand

    Having your hand touching the desk/paper should be fine as long as you're aware of it and counteract the drag/friction it creates, without falling back to drawing from lower pivots such as the wrist or elbow.

    You can get one of those "drawing gloves" that sometimes come with drawing tablets where it provides a sleek surface to reduce friction on the side of your hand.

    I personally hold my pen pen in a way that either has the whole arm and hand hovering, or just a fingernail touching the desk/paper to provide a bit of stability without friction, those are both rather tiring initially, but would help in the long term by training your arm muscles more than dragging.

    For more answers to that question you should post a question(same way as submitting your work, but check "question/discussion topic" instead) about it, or ask on the discord.

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