HFO1

Tamer of Beasts

Joined 1 year ago

3125 Reputation

hfo1's Sketchbook

  • Sharing the Knowledge
  • Tamer of Beasts
  • The Fearless
  • Giver of Life
  • Dimensional Dominator
    4:04 PM, Tuesday January 11th 2022

    You're welcome!

    Ah, my bad about the links, I guess I'm used to reddit too much haha.

    You don't have to submit the texture panel, you can move onto lesson 5 when you're done with it! :)

    2 users agree
    10:12 AM, Tuesday January 11th 2022

    Hello! I'll give you a critique:

    Organic forms with contour curves

    Your lines are very confident and your accuracy is high, good job on that! I notice that you sometimes vary the size of a sausage, most likely because there's no room left on the paper. Try to avoid that by planning.

    In my opinion some of your sausages have too many ellipses, especially on the first page. When in doubt, always come back to the core principle of the exercise - you're doing these to show that the sausages exist in 3D space, so your goal is to use as little contour lines as possible to achieve that.

    Insect construction

    Very solid constructions, I don't have much to say in this area, all of your insects look very much 3D. I suggest using less scratchy lines during the initial construction since some of that bleeds into the final image, even with added lineweight. I know these exercises are allowed to be messy, all I'm saying is I'm seeing areas where it could have easily been avoided, for example the cast shadows on the ground.

    Also, I think you're adding way too many straight lines to the further legs. Same as my critique for your ellipses, you only need a few to convey the legs are in the distance. When you have this many, you create a focal point because hard edges attract attention.

    When constructing the inside of a bug, it's always better to choose describing the form through contour lines rather than lines going parallel with the bug. Lines are flat by nature, but they are necessary in this course. It's better to communicate to the viewer the message "this line doesn't actually exist on the creature, it only describes it's form through contour" rather than "this line is part of the creature".

    Texture

    Texture isn't required here if you don't want to include it, but I'm kind of confused here since you have a bit of it on only some parts of the insects. Regardless, here are a few tips.

    Firstly, you can completely ignore the colored patterns insects sometimes have on their bodies. I asked uncomfortable himself and he said this. You're only concerned with the cast shadows of the actual bumps and scratches if you decide to add texture.

    Secondly, the surface texture on some of your insects feels rushed. You should place extra care in each and every line you draw, because each line is important. In areas like this one, I feel like you're on auto pilot mode which causes unpleasant repetition. You don't have to replicate every single hair and protrusion that happens on the image, a few is enough to convey the silhouette texture. A good way of checking how it looks is zooming out. Zooming out very very far. This allows you to asses if the added texture is enough. Since we're working on paper, you can stand across the room and look at your drawing, I think it should work the same haha.

    Lastly, don't add the silhouette texture inside the insect if you're not drawing texture.

    Next Steps:

    Your constructions are great, you very much understood the purpose of this exercise. Most of my critiques are just tiny areas you could improve in, so keep them in mind when doing the next lesson.

    You're gonna hate me for this, but I'll ask of you to one row of the texture analysis exercise from lesson 2 as a warm-up before lesson 5 (any texture you choose). Even if you didn't do textures, some of the mistakes bled over into the silhouette of your insects. The reason I'm assigning you this is not necessarily to learn texture, but to learn observation and patience.

    This community member feels the lesson should be marked as complete, and 2 others agree. The student has earned their completion badge for this lesson and should feel confident in moving onto the next lesson.
    8:20 PM, Sunday November 28th 2021

    Hello! Thank you very much for the critique, it is immensely helpful! I struggle a lot with texture, you managed to eloquently explain what I need to focus on. I'll try my best to correct my mistakes in future warmups.

    8:05 PM, Thursday October 7th 2021

    Great job! You can move onto lesson 4.

    Next Steps:

    Move to lesson 4.

    This community member feels the lesson should be marked as complete. In order for the student to receive their completion badge, this critique will need 2 agreements from other members of the community.
    8:28 PM, Sunday September 26th 2021

    It's alright! I asked for some feedback on the discord like you recommended, they said it was fine so I went ahead to lesson 3. Thanks again for the critique, I keep coming back to it when I'm struggling.

    1 users agree
    2:01 PM, Friday September 24th 2021

    Hello, good job on finishing lesson 3! Here's my critique:

    Organic arrows

    Some arrows ended up looking nice, some not so much. As you're probably aware, there are lots of places where the lines don't connect to the arrow. If this is repeated throughout the page, arrows start to lose their solidity and you lose the illusion of 3D form. This also hold true for overshooting the shadows, so do your best to avoid it. Remember to take your time and invest as much care into individual lines as you would when doing a real painting. Of course mistakes happen, however there's a noticable difference in mistakes that happen when you're trying your best and mistakes caused by rushing. I have this problem as well, and the wise words of someone who critiqued go: "Ironically, rushing through the exercise doesn't make you improve faster".

    The visual clarity is also lost on this area, the viewer can't tell what is in front of what. You can add subtle line weight to indicate the part of the arrow that's in front. You also added too much shading, to the point it started to blend with the shading from the upper fold. Remember to use as little lines as possbile to visually communicate what you're trying to achieve, in this case it's shading. Applying these 2 changes like this helps the viewer understand how this arrow sits in 3D space.

    Speaking of 3D space, most arrows only have a slight variation in size over their whole "body". Go out of your comfort zone, try starting your arrows very tiny and going up to huge sizes like 1/4 of the page. I find that overlapping arrows over each other adds a lot of visual confusion to yourself (remember in this exercise you need to convince yourself that you're looking at a 3D space), so rather take a new sheet of paper where you can draw freely. That's just my suggestion, if you find that you can handle it, you can overlap arrows.

    Lastly, to reinforce the 3D space feeling, the distance from each arrow fold should be shorter the further away from us it is. The best example is this arrow. Instead of doing that, try drawing your arrows more like this. To recap, here's a visual explanation.

    Leaves exercise

    This one is mostly fine. Sometimes you're zigzagging your lines and sometimes you're cutting inside the leaves rather than building from them. When you repeat this exercise in later lessons, make sure to read the "common mistakes" under leaves section again. I also see some rough lines that may be the result of rushing, but I'm not sure. I cannot stress enough how putting the same amount of care and attention to every line is important, so I'm mentioning it here again. In my studies, I noticed I was subconsciously rushing my lines when the exercises got tedious, so I limited myself to constructing 2 plants per day.

    Branches exercise

    I can see that you're trying your best here, other than a few small branches. Even though some ellipses look rough, all of them are drawn confidently and that's the most important thing. Good job!

    Plant drawings

    Your construction is good as far as I can tell, the plants look 3D. I'd have to see the references to detect smaller mistakes. I'm noticing a bad habit when it comes to your textures, and that is the fact that most of your textures are composed of dots with almost uniform distance between them. I do see that you're making an attempt to go from dense to sparse with them, but you could push it even further. It's important to consider that a texture can be represented with a very little amount of lines and dots actually. Let's say you're drawing a dotted sphere, you would only need this much texture to convey the material, the human mind fills in the rest automatically. Also call back to the texture exercise from lesson 2, that black border we had to merge with the shadow shapes is the same one that happens on real objects. You have to completely conceal the shadow line border (idk how to call it, I mean this) with gradual dense to sparse texture, just like you did in lesson 2.

    Watch out for spacing out lines by the same distance! This doesn't happen in nature, it's always random. Always have this on your mind, alternate between small, medium and large distances.

    In conclusion

    Even though I critiqued a lot, I'd say you understood the purpose of each exercise. Before moving you on to the next lesson, I'll ask of you to do two pages of the organic arrows exercise and one page of table of ellipses from lesson 1 (I placed the links in the revision section). I'm asking for 2 pages of organic arrows because I think you can improve here quickly, just take your time with each line and consider everything I wrote about this in my critique. I'm asking for a table of ellipses page because I think your ellipse accuracy will benefit from drawing more of them. Good luck!

    Next Steps:

    When finished, reply to this critique with your revisions.
    3:33 PM, Saturday September 11th 2021

    Hi, I'm back! Here are my revisions: https://imgur.com/a/WGyh8tA

    Some notes about the organic intersections exercise:

    • I struggled with adding line weight to overlapping forms. If I did it with my usual thin pen (idk the english terms), it would come out unnoticeable and if I did it with the thicker one, it would blend in with the cast shadow. EDIT: Nevermind, I found out I have the wrong pen. I'll buy the correct one for future lessons.

    • I added the small form in the top right after I added the cast shadows, that was a mistake. Now the cast shadow overlaps the form, which doesn't make sense. Just letting you know I'm aware of that mistake.

    • Somehow I missed hearing "you can draw through your forms" when I watched uncomfortable's video before, that's probably the reason my forms were floating. Should be better now.

    Feel free to assign more homework before moving me onto lesson 3 if you think it's necessary, improvement is my number one priority. Looking forward to hearing your response, hope you're still active.

    4:35 PM, Tuesday August 3rd 2021

    Wow, thank you very much for the gigantic critique! Your critiques are on point and articulate, I understood each one clearly. As I still have some deadlines to meet I can't submit the homework at this moment, but I'll do it ASAP and submit it as a reply, hope you'll stick around until then. I'll be joining the discord for help with future lessons for sure!

    5:26 PM, Monday July 26th 2021

    Hi! Yes, I plan to continue, just been busy with other stuff for the past month. I'd be very grateful for a critique.

    2 users agree
    9:41 PM, Saturday June 26th 2021

    Hi! I feel like you understood the core principle of each exercise, so you should move on. There are indeed plenty of mistakes, but don't worry because everybody makes them. I'll list all the mistakes I see in cased you missed some:

    • organic arrows - try not to be so confined by the size of the arrows. Almost none of them are overlapping, which is making them lose their 3D nature. Go wild with their small to large transitions and overlapping!

    • organic forms with ellipses - I'm noticing some wobbly ellipses which may be caused by the slowing down of your pen

    • form intersections - some intersections are weird, but the form relations are there which is what matters. For example a cone and box intersection you have on the 3rd page - the intersection forms on the plane of the box, not the cone. If you have a 3D program you can test these interactions there to understand them better. The boxes (also on page 3) are fine, you just gotta think about how the middle box intersects with the box and the cylinder. Think about only one intersection at a time. Also, remember the rule how a cylinder's further plane is supposed to be larger, not the closer one.

    • organic intersections - all good, just remember that the cast shadows take the shape of the underlying object, not the object casting them

    Next Steps:

    Instead of repeating exercises from the lesson, do them as warmups before future lessons. Here's a list to help you out, from most important to least important:

    • the ellipse exercise from lesson 1 where you fill out the whole page with ellipses. Your ellipses require more accuracy and this should help you gain that. I recommend doing this lesson as a warmup on multiple days.

    • ghosted planes from lesson 1 - some of your lines are wobbly. If you're rushing, remember to stop yourself and ghost the line properly (confident controlled ghosting instead of going back and fourth in the air)

    • form intersections - even though the form relations are good, some of your forms are wobbly. Drawing more forms never hurt anyone, also you'll make sense of some intersections as you do them more.

    • organic arrow exercise. Just so you let loose with them. You don't have to repeat this after you do what I mentioned in the critique correctly.

    • organic intersections - Just so you do the cast shadows properly. You don't have to repeat this one after that as well.

    Just choose one or two of these per day, that should be fine.

    This community member feels the lesson should be marked as complete, and 2 others agree. The student has earned their completion badge for this lesson and should feel confident in moving onto the next lesson.
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