bunnieslikeyourface

Thank you for your feedback. I really appreciate it, especially the time you took to answer my specific questions.

Hi Uncomfortable, thank you for your very thorough feedback. I especially appreciate the hints about designing the shapes of the added masses, since that was something I was struggling with and also something that the course material doesn't go into great detail about. It may be obvious to most people, but when designing the shapes I really had no idea whether the curves should be convex or concave, if the corners should be sharp or soft, whether forms should turn quickly or slowly, etc. Knowing that we're supposed to be starting with a sphere answers a lot of those questions. I must have missed that somehow.

I will keep practicing. Thanks again.

Thank you, I appreciate it!

Hi Uncomfortable,

Thank you for your detailed and thoughtful critique. Here's a link to the revisions you requested: https://imgur.com/a/bd5QGqA

I went through the written lesson material and the videos again, and I tried to listen specifically for the points you made in your critique that I had missed (or selectively heard). There are mistakes in this set too, but hopefully fewer. Sometimes my hand just doesn't do what I tell it to do. Sometimes my brain doesn't do what I tell it to do either-- don't ask me how that works.

On reading and listening the second time, I noticed that you really didn't ask students to dive into construction that deeply. The kinds of structures and points of view you demoed were fairly simple. You never said that by the end of the plants lesson, we needed to be able to draw any kind of plant at any angle. At some point I think I made that up, and it took my attention away from line quality. I tried to prioritize mark-making this time, and while I didn't always succeed, hopefully I set the bar low enough with my previous submission that you'll see some improvement here.

Thanks again for your time.

Hi Tofu,

Thank you for your critique. Please see my 2nd attempt here: https://imgur.com/a/OCMNBwX

I know there are some mistakes on these too (most notably a cast shadow on the wrong side of one of the sausages in the organic intersections, oops). I actually made a few more tries after my 2nd, with the intent of not having any big mistakes, but they turned out the same or worse, probably because I was stiffening up. I want to assure you that I read your critique carefully, it's just that sometimes my lines don't turn out the way I intend, and there's no way for me to hide it when I'm working in ink. Except starting over, but that's turning out to be a rabbit hole.

While I have your attention, I have a question about the organic forms with contours exercise. (BTW, you didn't specify whether I should do full ellipses or contour lines. I did ellipses, I hope that's okay.) In the examples on the website, sometimes the little ellipse is on the end of the sausage with the narrower-degree ellipses. Shouldn't it always be on end side with the wider ellipses, since the larger the degree, the more it's facing toward you?

One last note, on the organic intersections exercise you asked me to draw through my forms, and I know what that means for geometric forms, but I'm not sure when it comes to sausages. I think you meant that I should draw the ends of the sausages that aren't actually visible because they're behind other forms. But you might have meant that you wanted me to draw full ellipses instead of contour lines. Since the examples of this exercise on the website just did the "C" contour lines, that's what I did here.

Anyway, I appreciate your time. Thanks.