akisforsaken

Hello I will be doing your lesson 3 critique.

Arrows

For the most part your arrows are good with implied perspective and overlaps.This shows that you have 3d space awareness and that you can twist and turn them in space.While doing line wight for this exercise it should be done as same as doing normal lines meaning it should be ghosted slowly and not traced.I say this because in your work there is line wight but its mostly wobbly and/or consists of repeating lines. https://imgur.com/a/YKFScOc

Branches

As you said in your branches exercise there are a lot of tails.This is a common mistake but since a lot of your branches have this mistake I need to assign you to re do this exercise.Also your forking branch in wrongly constructed https://imgur.com/a/tATHWfB

Leaves

I like how leaves turn in space and for the most part they are drawn confidently,overall its pretty good but there is some mistakes I want to point out.In particularly with texture.When doing texture or cast shadows more specifically you should carefully study the reference to see where the form cast shadow and how can that shadow imply form.I say this because I am a bit confused with leaf 5 https://imgur.com/a/GsxqauV

Plant Construction(Demos)

Daisy

Again as you said there is a branch problem.Other then that I want to focus on leaves.While in the official demo for this exercise there you arent told to draw an ellipse for your leaves I think it would help you out so that it looks less messy and more organized.Same can be said for cast shadows as they also look quite messy and they all battle for viewers attention. https://imgur.com/a/ES17CFk

Bunny Ears Cactus

For the most part this exercise is very well done. Overall construction looks believable and form is pretty good.One thing I would like to mention tho is that the pebbles that are on the ground are to explicit and they take away from the main vocal point.In the future try adding just a few rock-like shapes insted of explicitly drawing whole shapes.If needed look back at lesson 2 texture. https://imgur.com/a/NJKh4mi

Mushroom demo

There are some tails here but thats it really.Construction of this one looks believable and solid also texture is also good since you did it as shapes and not as lines.Good job on this one!

Osteospernum Whirligig(?)

I like how you try to push yourself with this one.This flower has really complex leaf structure and that provides a lot of trouble.In this situation I would recommend you to try and look up for more references of these type of flower so you can better understand their leaf structure.Ellipses that i mention in Daisy Demo could be applied here as well.Also I would recommend to brake down and simplify leaf structure and use that simplified version of leaf to draw the flower.I tried doing it 2 times so you can have a better picture in your head but you dont need to stick to this simplification. https://imgur.com/a/4zEK2uV (the red shade is added for clarity)There is also the same problem of texture as in the Daisy Demo.I will assign you do redo this one but I do not except you to do it correctly since it is a complicated structure so I if you fail but do other revisions good I will still pass you.

Ficus Microcarpa

For the most part construction looks solid and well executed.Be aware of when doing texture you should not do it as lines but rather shapes that you will fill with ink. https://imgur.com/a/CB3XrGY

Also I didnt mention this earlier but when doing shadows you need to be particulate careful.The way shadows that are used in DAB is that they need to compliment form and should compete with main vocal points.This is a common mistake that I see in your work.Ask yourself if this shadow shape is going to add something to the form/is this shadow shape going to compliment the form and will I get clearer image,sometimes its enough to add just a bit of ink.

Corpse Flower

This one has similar issues as previous ones mostly leaves are really off so start with ellipses and leaf construction also needs to be simplified a bit.Use of shadows in this exercise could actually be really good to separate vocal points.

Chinese Black Bat Flower

This is also a very complicated flower there is a big problem of proportion and clarity here.Now even tho strings of the flower arent leaves I think its the best to construct them as you would for leaves.Use ink to separate important parts. https://imgur.com/a/NyKgII1

Most of the mistakes here are repeated as in the previous constructions.

Asian Bleeding Heart

Branches arent consistently drawn and that results in off looking construction without weight.When doing forked brunches do them with method that I linked.You need to slow down a bit and observe your reference clearly.Form of the flower-shaped things can also be constructed with a ball-like shape. https://imgur.com/a/mbTEsXg

Hi I will be doing your lesson 2 critique.

Arrows

Starting off arrows are pretty solid,there are drawn confidently without compression and line weight is added correctly.Good job on this one.

Organic form

I like how full your pages are.For the most part these are also very good,ellipses change their degree and are in center of their axises with their borders. One thing I did notice tho is that your form can be sometimes a bit wobbly try slowing down a bit sometimes,this is more noticeable on the second page.Contours are hooking and for the most part in their borders.

Texture

Texture is for the most part also good.I see that you correctly drawn cast shadows as shapes and not lines and your analysis is also pretty good.One thing that you should keep an eye on tho is transitioning your gradient from a black bar to a texture,in all of your gradients black bar is pretty noticeable.https://imgur.com/a/0oxywkp This is a smaller mistake but still.

Dissections

This is very well done nothing to mention here.

Form intersections

This exercise is also done very well,all intersections look believable and foreshortening is kept simple,good job.

Organic intersections

For the most part this exercise is also well done but there are some mistakes I want to point out.Mainly its stability in forms or lack of stability that is present.:https://imgur.com/a/UV4NT61. There are floating or non supported sausages, that look like they're about to fall. All of them should be supported. A good thing to do is to think of them as if they're water baloons, and try to think about how they would fall on top of the other forms, drawing their final positions.

Hey, no rush. School comes first.

These look good--you've got the hatching and the overlap in. The upper right arrow might be backwards, since the hatching reads opposite to the taper (the hatching makes it look like the thinnest part is closest, rather than the thickest). However, it overall looks like you've got the idea, and I'd say to move on to the next lesson!

Lines:

Super Imposed Lines:

You've executed the lines with confidence. While the shorter lines are aligned perfectly and straight, the longer lines do Fray and curve quite a bit, but don't fret it as you do these exercises as warmups for the further lessons to come it will eventually get better.

There is one tip that I would give us that if you find lines are curving, try to concious curve them in the opposite direction, that will even it out.

Ghosted lines:

You've gone through the process of plotting, ghosting and execution, your lines are confident, good job. I can see the some of your lines have curved, it can occur from drawing from elbow or wrist rather than shoulder. If even after drawing from shoulder, the curving happens, do opt to the technique of consciously curving it in opposite direction as stated above.

Ghosted planes:

You've done a good job in executing them confidently and to the best of your current ability.

One point is the please do take little bit more time in preparation as some lines feel rushed.

As stated above some lines curved it can be overcome with more practice as go about using them for warmups for other exercises.

Do draw as snugly as possible, to give room for more planes.

Ellipses:

Tables of ellipses:

You've gone through the ellipses 2 times. The fit between the lines and are drawn snugly and one thing to note is that some of the ellipses are not smooth, I can see some sharp turns and uneven breadths.

Don't fret it as it will get with practice when done as warmups.

Ellipses in planes:

As before you've gone through the ellipses 2 times. And almost all the ellipses touch all 4 sides. One thing to remember when you do this exercise in the future is that, focus making the ellipses as smooth and confidence as possible rather than accurate, I can see some ellipses have sharp turns and flat edges.

Funnels:

As before there are some uneven ellipses, other than that most of all, the ellipses are snuggly drawn and are gone through 2 times.

Next time when you do this exercise do slight variation of this exercise when the ellipse turns away from the center line. You can refer to them here:

https://d15v304a6xpq4b.cloudfront.net/lesson_images/c0447c15.jpg

Boxes:

Plotted Perspective:

You've done this exercise as per the instruction to the best of your current ability, good job.

Rough Perspective:

This one's a little bit off. You've made the boxes with single point perspective, good. Your boxes' front and back faces are quite distorted, result in the boxes turning out not box like. Your lines are have wobbled quite a bit, try to rotate the pages more.

I recommend for a revision of this particular exercise before moving on to the next lesson.

Rotated Boxes:

This exercise is done quite good. Few points to be added are that, you've missed some of the boxes at corners, please keep in mind that even if the boxes does comes out not looking good, it is still good enough, it will show you where you can improve upon.

Other than that, you've drawn through the boxes and rotated the Vanishing points for each boxes adjacent to the prior boxes.

I do recommend that you do this exercise particularly when doing a warm-up for the next the lesson.

Organic Perspective:

You've done great job at this exercise. Few things to note is that some of them have quite a bit of distortion in the boxes, and some comes out not box like. But mostly that have came out quite good.

Please go through the material once again before attempting this exercise as warm-up.

Congrats you've done a great job in doing these exercises.

Once you've done the revision for the Rough Perspective Exercise (please do go through the materials again before attempting this exercise). Then you can move into the 250 boxes challenge.

• Super imposed lines look good for the most part, but some of the longer ones fray a too much.

• Ghosted lines are accurate and straight.

• Ellipses look a little egg shaped, some of them have too many lines, although they improve massively towards the end of the second page.

• While the ellipse funnels look fine, I would have liked to see a couple more on the page. Also maybe try experimenting with making them more flat. Some look egg-shaped, off-axis, or have too many lines.

• Plotted perspective looks fine - clean and confident lines.

• Rough perspective is not great. Notice how wonky your initial rectangles are. These small errors add up with every line and result in massive distortion. I would spend some time practicing drawing parallel and perpendicular lines, so that you can confidently draw even rectangles with 90-degree angles. Do them with confident, fast strokes. It’s evident that you were hesitating a lot during this exercise, judging from the wobbliness of the lines. Second page does look a lot better, so I’ll give you that.

• Ghosted planes have a lot of wobbly lines once again. I would advise moving your arm quicker instead of hesitating. A lot of ellipses go out of the plane boundary. I think you tried too hard to ensure that all ellipses touch the plane edge right at the midpoint, but when there is so much plane distortion like in this exercise, the two will not always align perfectly, so you just have to trust your gut. Second page looks a lot better so good job.

• Rotated boxes looks pretty good, just watch out for symmetry and those 90 degree angles like I mentioned previously.

• Organic perspective looks very distorted. A lot of the lines don’t connect properly at the vertices. My eye gets lost, almost like I don’t know what I’m looking at. You improve on the second page, but I would suggest redoing this exercise. Think a little more logically about where the vanishing points would be for every box. Try the Y method to get the first three lines down and go from there. Again, execute the lines with more vigour and precision. We need strong, confident lines.

• Overall, not bad. I’d say you’ve made a promising start. I especially like seeing you improve as you get further into the exercise. For example, all of your page 2’s look better than the first attempt, which tells me that you’re a fast learner. If you don’t feel like redoing the organic perspective, I would just spend some more time practicing boxes to get a better sense of 3D space. Perhaps tackle the 250 box challenge or look up perspective tutorials on YouTube.

• If you found my feedback helpful, I would appreciate a review of my Lesson 1, thanks.

https://drawabox.com/community/submission/1U42P1IR

Hi Ana! Here's my advices.

• The Imposed lines are perfect.

• Ghosting lines are forming some curves, try to practice with the Shoulder movements a little more, and faster (after doing the ghosting metod above the path minimum a 3 times.

• Your Ellipses are very nice, only pay atention tha some ellipses are not being simetric, i think doing the ghost metod more before, and faster marking will help.

• In the perspective exercise, the front edges have to be totaly perperndicular to horizon line,if they not, will make distortion on the behind edges, and they will be diagonal.

• To Rough perspective is the same advice for Ghosting lines lesson. It's not a problem the guide lines error the vanishing point, but make the edges of the cubes will make everything more clean, good.

• Organic perspective: Pay athention in the edges converging to they guidelines/vanishing point. In a scene that has many objects rotated, each one has its own vanishing point. I think the exercise is to you see how to make a cube imagining its vanishing points, building this notion.

• The rotated boxes are very good to. Just look and compare the second central cubes, see that converging to much the vanishing point will distort much more, try to make them equal to each other, the same edge length. The proportion of the sphere formed with all cubes is very nice, keep it that way.

Try to do again the lessons i have spoke above. I think you are almost reaching them, almost there!

:)

Congratulations on getting through lesson 3! On to the critique...

Arrows: This is a great start! You have smooth, swooping lines, and follow well with the second set of lines. You also have some good tapering going on. This exercise does need 2 more elements, though. First, you need to clarify your overlaps. Second, you'll need to add hatching where it belongs. (Like so: https://drawabox.com/lesson/2/4/step4 ) Both of these things, in addition to the taper, help the viewer "read" what is in front of what more easily.

Leaves: These look good, with some nice variety and dimensionality added in.

Branches: This one is challenging to do accurately, but it looks like you've got the ellipses varying and following the minor axis line.

Plants: You have a nice variety--bells, leaves, paddle shapes, as well as containers. I can see you are thinking through the forms. On page 4, it might have helped to have those petal lines curve all the way up to the stem, following the bell shape, so they feel more connected to the bell. You used texture really well on the sunflower, and planned the petal placement well.

I notice that you often drew 3 plants per page (one one of the plants, it meant that you didn't have room to do the ellipses in the stems). Don't worry about this for now, since you got enough solid plants in, but when you do lesson 4 (bugs), keep it to one bug per page so that you have plenty of space to feel out the forms. This also makes it easier to use your whole arm while drawing, which is one of the skills Draw a Box aims to develop.