Waldy88

Hey Tora,

You've done a great job and I can tell you've put in a lot of effort. I feel like I'm only really qualified to provide feedback on the basis that I've already received official critique for this lesson. That being said I can see that you've made a couple of mistakes that I made. I could try and retype it and explain it in my own words but I figured the phrasing of a professional teacher would be way more adequate, so I'll provide direct quotes instead.

In reference to your arrows I strongly believe this applies: "One thing to watch out for however is that you're doing a good job of applying perspective to the positive space (the width of the ribbon and how it gets narrower as we look farther back) but the negative space - that is, the distances between the zigzagging sections - is not matching it. Remember that perspective applies to all space, causing it to compress as things get farther away from us."

I think your sausages look good but your contour lines look a bit rushed, particularly your contour curves. You might find this feedback useful: "Remember that the degree of our ellipses represents the orientation of that cross-section relative to the viewer, and this is going to change depending on where we're sampling from along the length of the sausage. This means that, as shown here, the degree will get narrower or wider as we slide along the form.

All these points apply to your contour curves as well. As a whole, I think you just need to adjust how you're appyling the ghosting method to your marks, to ensure that you're able to reinforce your confident, smooth executions with proper control and preparation."

Your texture analysis and intersections is real strong. You've avoided doing any hatching and definitely moving in the right direction with strong shading.

I personally think you've done a fantastic job at the form intersections. To me it's really clear where the intersections are. I can really tell here that you've taken the time to follow the instructions in detail which is excellent.

Finally with the organic form intersections, the same here applies with your contour curves. I think they're a little bit too consistent and because of that don't show as much dimensionality as they could. It's more important however that you've demonstrated an understanding of how they flop and are pulled down by gravity, which is very clear here.

I reckon you should have another crack at the organic forms and contour lines exercise before marking this as complete.

Hey Tora,

Thanks for taking the time to view my work and providing such in-depth feedback. I'll certainly take on board your suggestion to avoid going over my mistakes. Good luck on your illustration journey too, where ever that might be.

Cheers,

Tristan

Hey Uncomfortable,

Thanks for your feedback. Here are my revisions. I did a couple of pages for the contours because of that poor excuse of a sausage in the corner. I feel like I understand the exercise pretty well but through the sheer pressure of dealing with feedback I lost some confidence.

https://photos.app.goo.gl/ho1YbrH4fYZ6cqPF7

Cheers,

Tristan

Thanks Martijn :)

Hey Malo,

Thanks for your feedback! For the rough perspective exercise I feel like I did do it correctly, however the lines I drew that extend to the vanishing point aren't very distinguishable to the original marks because the colour difference is subtle. Next time I'll use a bright red pen to communicated this clearly. Seeing as though this isn't the point of the exercise I think I'll continue on.

Also thanks for pointing out the ellipses and particularly that little bit of detail of 2 draw throughs being ideal. I'll keep that in mind for any future related exercises.

Cheers,

Tristan