Vennaya

Hello Sky! I have come...To deliver Judg-...I mean, Critique for your work!

Hopefully it is aleast a little helpful!

Lines

Superimposed Lines - Looks pretty good to me! It looks like by the 2nd page you had gotten it down pretty well. I would suggest trying to do some more extreme curves for this in the future.

Ghosted Lines - Looks good! One thing i found suggested in the Discord server was to do lines of more varying length the next time you do this, from fairly short to fairly long, as it helps break any potential pattern.

Ghosted Lines - Nearly perfect, looks like, at least to me. There certainly seems to be a little overshooting but the cross sections of the diagonal and vertial/horizontal lines inside the planes look well aligned and fairly straight.

Ellipses

Tables of Ellipses - As you mentioned on the discord when you first posted your lesson, you said that you struggled a little on the ellipses. Namely in regards to overshooting the bounds of the box.I see some instances of them also not touching the sides. As you yourself mentioned, this is sure to get better with more practice and is probably something best kept in mind when next attempting this during future warmups.

Ellipses in Planes - Other than a few instances of a few of them not touching the sides, these look good! I would suggest, however, that you try and only draw through each ellipse only twice as many of these have been drawn through many times and if one of those lines happened to go awry, it may leave it looking messy. As i understand it, the "Go through it twice" is mostly there to train your brain and your hand in to maintaining a constant motion of the hand.

Funnels - I noticed some issues in regards to the Funnels. Namely, looking at the bottom right funnel, the bottom ellipse is squashed and flat where as the ones in the middle are more rounded. Assuming you're following the first method shown in the video, this is fine but it might be a good idea to try and attain some symetry within the same funnel. For example, while the mentioned ellipse is flat at the bottom, the one at the top of the funnel is more rounded. That's just me, though. Other than that, there is a few fairly minor cases of the ellipses themselves lacking symetry along the minor axis but nothing that would spell disaster.

Boxes

Plotted Perspective - Really, Really good. I struggle to believe this was freehand with how near perfectly straight some of these lines art. Of course, a few of them are a little wobbly but its barely noticable.

Rough Perspective - They're all in the same general area which is as far as im concerned, the important bit. Keep practicing with the warmups, and it'll only get better.

Rotated Boxes - Pretty good. The only things i would mention would be to maybe apply some hatching to the sides to better define where each box begins and ends. The spacing between each box looks exceptionally consistent which i'm very much impressed by. In the future, You should aim to bring those outer "2D" boxes in to act as the sides of the spherical shape. Perhaps you could bring them in a bit at a time each time you do it, until you find the sweet spot?

Organic Perspective - I believe it was mentioned in Lesson 0, though i could be mistaken, but it's best not to cross out your work even if you are frustrated with it or if its very obviously wrong. Someone, when reviewing your work, may have noticed something you could have done to correct it that you may not have noticed yourself. Unfortunately i do not have much more to say about this one, as you were the one to help me the most on my OWN Organic perspective. One thing i would suggest though, is perhaps attempting to have the line loop back behind or in front of itself to help you practice occlusion at the same time.

Hopefully this was helpful, even if just a little!

Hey Sky! Thanks again for reviewing my work!

Here Is the revised exercise you suggested i complete, but you have already seen it from my discord message to you in the Drawabox Discord.

As i mentioned in our conversation on Discord, I feel like they didn't come out right this time either but the next time i do it, i will try and focus on making the lines a similar length to try and get a more cube like shape, as that might help me with scale, i hope. As i mentioned, my lines were getting shorter by about 0.5cm each time i drew the next, smaller line to start the next form but it certainly didn't feel like there we getting shorter, perhaps due to the length of the other lines of the Y shape. I will try and work on this. I definately feel like i struggled a little when it came to drawing the extra converging lines as my hand was often in the way of the existing line and so i had to do even MORE guessing than i might have otherwise wanted.

As Abeanberry said, some of the lines arch a little. And some of the beginnings, especially on page 1, look a tad frayed. Remember to take your time! It looks like you were aware of these issues and tried to correct for it on page 2. The arching is the main thing that persists throughout.

You mean the arching on the longer lines? How might i fix this? The line is so long that the shoulder phyiscally can not extend that far without the elbow getting involved atleast a little in the process. How might i resolve this?

I'm starting to see a bit of course-correction here as you curve the ends of the lines to join up with the dot you placed. Remember, confidence over accuracy!

That was entirely unintentional. I don't think i even noticed them curving. I can only barely even see it on a few of them even now. Would a faster stroke resolve this?

Not sure what's going on with your shading - there seems to be a mistake on the top left when you were giong on autopilot perhaps? (The L-shaped shading)

This was an atempt at occulsion. I did not want to hatch the face, or in this case the part of the face, that was not visible as i was not sure if it would be clear if i had done so.

Thanks again for your critique! You've been very helpful!

Hey AbeanBerry! Thanks for the response!

Here is the link to the imgr for the two revisions you suggested i complete: Link

I certainly feel like i managed to not make the ellipses overlap as much, but i still can't get them snug in to the space. Any tips would be appreciated!

As for the Rough perspective, i managed to get some more in but i definately struggle with the smaller boxes. I feel like the bigger the box is, the more control and accuracy i have over it.

Superimposed Lines: Most of the lines look pretty good. The longer ones have slight arches on them, so take care to draw from your shoulder, not your elbow.

I'm fairly certain i was but i will try and be more concious of it in the future.

And some of them have only been drawn through once, like the one on the edge on the bottom right.

I'm pretty sure that was a fluke. I'm fairly confident i drew through it twice but evidently the indent on the paper from the first stroke guided the second pass. But i will keep that in mind in the future.

Plotted Perspective: Nice work, but it may be beneficial to have more boxes in each frame. Is there a reason the middle frame’s boxes have hatching on different sides?

The hatching was mostly a mistake. I wanted to have the hatching on different faces for each segment, to better differentiate between them but i quickly realised that would not be feasible as the box in the middle did not have its top face visible.

As for the having more boxes...I will try. However, i feel like splitting the page in to thirds gives me much less space to work with, it feels like im drawing on a scrap of paper instead of an actual page. As a result, i just try and get a few moderately sized ones in. I also did not want to make it messy if i was going to hatch one of the faces, as i feel like what was suggested i do would leave me with a confusing mess, but i will endevour to put in some more in the future like what i did in my revised Rough perspective i linked above.

Rotated Boxes: As Uncomfortable says, he knows this exercise is above a lesson 1 student’s level so he doesn’t expect perfection. The boxes look pretty good here, but would benefit from hatching as Uncomfortable’s example homework displays.

I did want to apply some hatching but by the end of it, i barely even knew where half of the faces were or which face they were supposed to be, as it was just a mess of lines owing to the fact, i think, that the drawing itself was too small as i did not have a proper frame of reference for scale as the video did it on a digital canvas. Until i started drawing it, i barely even knew what the boxes on the outside were for as i felt it was poorly explained, so that certainly did not help. I will endevour to make it a little bigger the next time i do it, and to apply some hatching.

Organic Perspective: Take advantage of the line weight in the big swoopy line, to help the viewer know which part of the line is closest to them; perhaps extending that line so it fills the frame would provide more space for boxes, so there’s a gradual shift from big to small boxes. To encourage the illusion of close/far boxes, perhaps draw some that have been cut off from the frame, like in the second frame of the first page. Don't worry too much about perspective, you'll have the chance to practice that in the 250 box challenge.

I tried to apply line weight. At its heaviest, i was pushing down on the page pretty hard and let go of pressure as i went before finally lifting it off the page instead of stopping. However...I don't know whether its becuase the pen is using has bad ink flow or if i was holding it at too steep an angle, but as you said, the line weight barely changed. I did honestly try - I just don't know how or why it turned out like it did.

Your critique was most helpful, yes! Thank you very much for taking the time to review my work!

If you have any further feedback about my revised exercises i linked above, i would welcome it!

Thanks again!