Teh_StamPer

Hello pizzaplease i'll be critiquing your work today.

first and foremonst congrats on finishing L2!

it was not an easy task that's for sure

without further a do:

Arrows:

great job. these look well done, the spacing between the lines increase as they get closer to the viewer, you are brave enough to overlap the arrows, lines are done confidently. however the overlaps seem somewhat off, it is only required that you draw over the lines that overlap, not the entirity of the arrow, however you did do so by ghosting them and with confidence, well done on that! they are little off but that is nothing you can't iron out in the future through warm ups. overall well done!

sausages. (organic forms):

you were only asked to do 2 pages, one of each, however the submission contains 4 pages total, two of each. 

2 filled pages of the Organic Forms with Contour Lines exercise (1 page of contour ellipses, 1 page of contour curves)

i understand that it might just have been misread  or misinterpreted, but just a reminder, please do not grind these exercises and only do as much as is asked. there are plenty of opportunities to iron out and improve in the future. 

with that out of the way, good job on your sausages, the elipses are drawn through, they touch the sides, a little off, but that is to be expected, your curves hook around the form and you kept to simple forms, well done! however i do see lack of variation with your elipses, there is some variation, but not enough to gain the effect that they are turning in space, as in shown [here](https://d15v304a6xpq4b.cloudfront.net/lesson_images/6822fd02.jpg) , you also seem to have done some takebacks with your curves, please refrain from this. as i have previously mentioned again this is to be expected and is something that can be improved with time. i also see that some of the sausages have both ends facing away from the viewer, in cases like this you it is not required that you draw a circle by the end, and there are also sausages with misplaced circles more notably in your second curves pages,[here is a guide as to how to use the circles](https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/368871002584907776/867744968432549928/QTEqgJa_1.png?width=618&height=601). but overall you did good on this exercise well done!

texture analysis:

i will start off with another reminder to avoid grinding, if you want to draw more textures you can always partake in the [25 textures challange](https://drawabox.com/lesson/25textures), for this critique i will only be critiquing the page with crumpled paper on it. good job on these! clear transition between light and dark, very dark denses and light sparces! i can see that understand the underlying shapes of the texture and also focus on the cast shadows more so than the outlines. i will comment however that the chrysanthemum "texture" is not exactly a texture, and more of a form, something that will be explored in the next lesson, but nonetheless you do show understanding even on that texture. overall they are very well done, i can see that you took your time and it obviously paid off! great work

disections:

again great job on these! these look great! textures wrap around the form, they break the silhuette, focused more on cast shadows and done so implicitly, no dotting or hatching to achieve a gradient effect, very well done! apologies for i don't think i can read your handwriting and see the comments you made. i do not see anything wrong with these except for the corn texture, highlight and shines are not to be drawn in textures, this is a very minor mistake. overall awesome job! very well done! i can tell you took your time on this.

intersections:

good job! shapes are drawn confidently and equalaterally for the most part. the first page does contain some boxes that are outside of the page, i see that this mistake is not repeated in the next pages so it is an exception, i see that there are a lot of unecessary double takes with the lines, i do however see that the lines are fading and there might be an issue related to the pen that is being used, other than that they are drawn confidently and correctly. i will comment that some of the prism shapes here are a little off, some shading can help, i do also see that there are some mistaked with your intersections, however they are minor and secondary so it's a trivial matter. overall good job.

sausage intersections:

unfortunately these are not very well done, you did well overall the shapes are very solid and they are very visibly supporting each other the curves of your elipses hook and give the form good solidity, your lines are confident and well done, you stuck to simple shapes as well. but there are some major mistakes present, for one your shadows are cast unaturally as is demod [here](https://d15v304a6xpq4b.cloudfront.net/lesson_images/516f8d4f.jpg) the shadows of your form are to wrap around the form under it, avoid adding shadows that are unnatural or untied to the form below it. however the second mistake will render a this exercise for a revision as the forms are not drawn through, as just as the previous exercise all the sausage forms here are to be drawn through all the way to the back, the sausages in this submission seem to cut off as they overlap with the sausage under it, which is to not be the case. overall i can see that you have very good understanding on this however this will render a revision.

conclusion:

these are very well done! you clearly took your time to do all these well, your textures are done very well, you also seem to understand the organic intersections despite the mistake. the only few mistakes i can see if with the tendancy to draw over a lines, please refrain from this, only overlap lines that are required to be so, even despite that you still do so with confidence and clearly with ghosting, well done!

to start, please merge all of the submissions to one link in the future if you plan to submit it by the end of the lesson. it would make it a lot more convinient.

but it's no big deal.

so let's see here.

L1E1:

i'll be honest, i have no idea what you had in mind trying to draw those "swirls" it is not mentioned in the exercise, and nor shown in the example drawing. on top of that, i have no idea which is the original line, which doesn't help either. esp for those circles. which i suppose you know by now, have their own execises.

i have no idea what you used to make those swirls, but hopefully not just with your arm. but if you do want to learn to draw "curves" which is mentioned, and something you could try. then use the edge of a circular object or ,if you have one, an eliptical ruler. this lesson is more so to get you used to using your whole arm, not yet to really make any complex weird curvy lines with them.

but overall you did what was asked on the lesson, very confident with your strokes! good job! but i do see some fraying on both ends on those lines, you seem to have resolved that as time passed by however. varrying line lengths are also a good plus.

moving forward, if you intend to do this exercise again, stick to simple, straight curves.

TL;DR : confident but still some fraying. and refrain from doing swirls, instead try simple and straight curves

L1E2:

good job on this one, i see that is slight arching, as in the lines are a little bent on some of those. but it is to be expected, a bit of undershooting and overshooting. but you always hit at least one point of the line, good job! overall you did what was asked.

try and push your pen to the opposite direction when making those lines, so that they are more straight.

L1E3:

good job here as well. i don't see mistakes that can be critiqued here. maybe just a bit of arching here and there. but overall you did good!

L1E4-6 (funnels) :

okay here's where there might be some issue. you've drawn through your elipses, good job! overshooting and undershooting those edges are a challange of course, so not hitting them is no big deal.

you also draw them very confidently, maybe a little too much as i see some "flying" lines on your planes.

which, one of those planes does have an odd circle that doesn't touch one side, but that seems to be an exception and not a rule. so that's okay.

but if your arm is getting tired don't force yourself to make more lines,lay your hand down and take a breather, maybe even stretch. you could also just be spinning your hand a bit too enthusiatically, if so, then slow it down slightly.

however, you don't add much or even any variation with your elipses. all of them are very much the montonous potato shapes. try and play around with them! do more circular shapes, or even extremely sharp ones, and make the slanted or rotated slight at an angle. because even on the pages with the slanted slopes you seem to really insist of making those longitudal potato shapes by forcefully fitting them in place. on top of that all of your elipses are very straight and aligned with the axis of the page itself. as the lesson mentioned, each section should contain a different variation of elipse exercise.

L1E7-10 boxes

good job on the plotted presectives. on the rough prespectives i see that you superimposed some of those lines. please refrain from doing this in the future especially on the 250 box challange. however since it isn't the point of the lesson that should be alright. but now that you are aware of it, don't repeat the same mistake in the future, all your lines should be done in a single brave, and confident stroke!

apart from that most of your boxes seem alright except for one of those boxes in the final panel you did where you messed up the alignments of the axis, it's alright but be sure to keep it in mind moving forward!

your rotated boxes seem okay to me, you seem to have not rotated some of the boxes on the top right quadron but that's alright because most of the other boxes seem to be at least somewhat rotated.

your organic prespectives are a bit messy, but that is to be expected. and yet again, you have superimposed your lines. you have also seemed to refrain from drawing boxes that overlap, you shouldn't have done that because it actually helps to add depth if you draw boxes that cut through each other and overlap. they look very messy, but that is okay, because the purpose of the exercise is just to get you thinking about 3d space.

as a final note don't be afraid that your lines are undershooting or if they miss the shot, it's completely natural and okay. if your intent was to add line weight, what you should have done was rotate your pen to spew out more ink as you stroked, not superimpose the line.

when a line is drawn, a line is set, there is no changing it, you can't do anything to fix it, so don't try to! even if it's just slightly off, or super off, let it be. the purpose of the lesson is not to make good looking boxes, but to learn how to draw them, and that is done by messing them up! possibly 250 times over! that is, after you go and finish

you'll get used to drawing straight lines that hit the mark after a while. so don't worry too much that you're messing that up right now.

as of now however, i do believe you can benefit greatly from trying to draw a more varied types of elipses.

Good day and thank you for waiting! I’ll be critiquing your work today!

It appears like you did this lesson digitally. The use of digital tools is heavily discouraged in this course! This course demands that you take your time to analyze your strokes and work, and to show any mistakes you may have missed. All of these are best done through pen and paper. Here is a more comprehensive reason

Note: I said heavily discouraged and not prohibited. Feel free to play around with your digital software during your 50% play sessions. Hell even Uncomfortable himself mostly does his work digitally! It's just that when doing this course's exercise, it has to be done in ink and paper.

With that tangent out of the way, let the critique begin!

Lines

So far your lines are looking good and confident.

Some of your superimposed lines have incomplete number of lines and have both sides fraying. Remember to have one side frayed and to put 8 lines in each ruled line. I also recommend trying out superimposing some C or S curves into the mix. Besides those, you are going the right direction, despite some fraying and the occasional arcing, but that can be improved upon via warm up sessions going forward

Some of your ghosted lines are a bit wobbly. A reminder that this exercise prioritizes confidence over accuracy, it's okay to not hit the line as long as it's straight and confident. You also don't need to necessarily connect them together since the ghosted planes section will cover that. Remember that they can be improved in your warm up sessions moving forward. I also suggest increasing the range of lengths in the exercise (e.g. more shorter lines less than 3 inches and more longer lines that can span through the whole page.

You have managed to make confident lines and thus, confident ghosted planes in your ghosted planes exercise! Good work!

Ellipses

Your ellipses are overall confident and snug in their places. Sure they may be slightly or overly drawn (even some of your ellipses in your table of ellipses exercise overlap in the middle borders), but that’s okay. Remember that they can be improved in your warm up sessions moving forward, also just fill up the small spaces in the middle with smaller ellipses. More ellipses means more experience.

Boxes

Plotted Perspectives are looking good

Rough perspective boxes are looking good. You are going in the right direction, it's okay to have the lines that don't extend to their intended vanishing points. Remember that they can be improved in your warm up sessions moving forward

It looks like you are doing a bit of self-criticism in your Rough Perspective exercise. I discourage you from doing this and just let it go and allow someone else to do the critiquing for you. Sure you may be aware of the problem, but by doing this any feedback you will receive from others will be less effective, which could be a problem in the later lessons. Refer to this video about it here

Rotated Boxes are looking good. There is noticeable rotation in the boxes, and the gaps are narrow enough that the boxes are snug. I know this is a hard exercise but remember that they can be improved in your warm up sessions moving forward

Organic Perspective is looking good. The size of the boxes give off can provide a sense of 3D space in the perspective to the viewer.

Closing Remarks

Overall your work is solid and you are going in the right direction! Don't forget that these exercises should be done in your warm up sessions moving forward!

Also do not forget my points:

• Use pen and paper. Only use digital tools in your 50% play sessions.

• cut it out on the self-criticism! Let your drawings speak for themselves!

With that all said I hereby declare this lesson complete!

Have a nice day!

Hello Hymanknyx, congratulation on attempting lesson one.

But I am afraid that it will be too difficult to critique your submission due to the quality of image being very low, and zooming in causes the photos to distort.

So I will suggest you to retake photos, you can use a mobile scanner app for convenience, and can also upload them all in a single tumblr file.

Hope you understand, have a great time ahead.

I'd say in general it looks complete. Your straight lines look pretty good aside from maybe falling short of the point at times. I noticed a lot of your circles are wobbly, some almost have points. Your rotated boxes looks good! Although a few of your organic perspective boxes look distorted.

It's good you're seeing where you need to improve, but let's see here

Lines

Your Superimposed Lines look decent. I don't see many areas where you necessarily course-corrected the lines. You had a lot of confidence in your arm in this, nice job. As you addressed, there is fraying on the start of lines. Really, you can solve that by going a little slower, watching where you put your pen. And then making the mark. Confidence is not without its preparation. As for fraying on the other end, it's normal, and will reduce with time. Overall, nice confident work there.

Your Ghosted Lines look really smooth. There are a few curving/arcing lines, but it doesn't seem to be a big issue for you. Just remember that ghosting is basically you telling your arm what it needs to do. So ghost as much as you need to make your arm comfortable with making the motion. Looking at the endpoint, as you try to figure out a straight motion, can help as well.

Hooh boy, the lines of your Ghosted Planes got straighter. No real problem when it came to confidence, nice work on that. Next steps would be to work on accuracy (Level 3 of Ghosting), trying to hit both points with confidence. But yeah, you nailed this one.

Ellipses

Your Tables of Ellipses got better as you worked through it. Your ellipses were initially too loose, crowding alot of space. But by the second page, your ellipses were less loose, and took up less space. Nice improvement. What you'd want to work on next would be the eveness of your ellipses, as some have bigger/smaller halves. You may want to ghost more, until you feel like your arm goes evenly in the motion. Edit: looks like you worked on that on the bottom half of page 2. Great job

Though there are some wonky ellipses in your Ellipses in Planes, you still were confident. And you tried you best to snugly fit the ellipses, trying to hit all four corners smoothly. Evenness of the ellipse could be worked upon. But overall, good work here.

Your ellipses in the Funnels got better. You worked with confidence, also trying to even out the ellipses. And you played around with the concept of the minor axis (center line), checking your mistakes along the way. Nice job there.

Boxes, ooh

You did Plotted Perspective well.

You did Rough Perspective nicely. You paid a good amount of attention to each line's behavior. Your linework got a bit rough but you shouldn't sweat it that much. Just pay more attention to ghosting, even if we're drawing more than just lines. Other than that, you may want to experiment with overlapping boxes. Overall, nice job.

You did Rotated Boxes very well. It's a little hard to see the outer outer boxes. But there is significant rotation on each new box, nice job there. You've kept your gaps narrow and made your lines confident. You nailed this exercise.

Your Organic Perspective look good. It's not that big of an issue that your boxes get way too small. Good on you that you corrected that though. You also carefully worked out each line's convergence, nice job for your first time tackling this spatial challenge. You want to work on connecting each line next time. Especially as you head to the Box challenge

Conclusion

Very great submission. Great job with sticking to the instruction. Very great job on making confidence above everything else in these exercises. Nice work playing around with spatial concepts. There is room for improvement, and I'm glad you know some. Generally speaking, accuracy might be your next best step from here. Do come back to these exercises as warm-ups, and I'm sure you'll be able to improve where you need to.

Anywho I'll mark this as complete. Good luck with the 250 Box Challenge

Hello! I will be providing you critique for your work by going through each section.

Lines

• Fraying is present but it is OK! The lines already look firm at the starting point and you can improve this over time.

• Line confidence is OK as well! I've noticed some wobble here and there, and you should just keep in mind that you should prioritize the smoothness over the accuracy. One way to improve this is to ghost the line's starting and ending points better next time. When the drawn line diverges from the end point, think of drawing the line in the opposite direction next time, this helps adjust your line to meet the end point.

Ellipses

• Boxed ellipses OK! They fit snugly inside the boxes and for the grouped ellipses, they generally don't overlap and squeeze just right against each other and in their respective planes.

• Stroke confidence is OK as well!

• Funnel exercise is missing (?)

Boxes

• Rough perspective boxes: OK! No issues with the width lines and height lines, just that I recommend you draw through the inside of these boxes.

• Rotating boxes: OK! The rotation is clearly visible at first glance. Corners between boxes are closely parallel as well.

• Organic perspective: OK!

Overall, good job for your first time trying to draw! Thank you for your hard work.

I would just ask a little revision on the rough perspective exercise, and you're all done!

Hellooooo! I was waiting for this submission. :p

Let’s start with your lines. Well done on the superimposed lines exercise! There is a starting point with only fraying on one end, plus kept a smooth and clean line even on your longer lines. Your ghosted lines turned out great as well, this is a good indication that you are using the ghosting method and getting used to drawing from your shoulder. I did notice that you repeated some lines a couple of times, avoid doing this. Whether you pen dies a little or the line turns out really off, work with to prevent you from forming a habit of fixing your errors and creating a messy drawing. Your first page of the ghosted planes exercise turned out pretty well. One issue I see with it is the bending on the lines, which might be a result of either not drawing from your shoulder or a natural tendency. If the latter, consciously bend it in the other direction to cancel it out. On your second page though, it isn’t bad, but I noticed some subtle wobbling there and your lines are a lot more accurate there. Remember, confidence first, accuracy is something you gain over time.

For your table of ellipses exercise, one issue I can spot is not drawing with a concrete goal in mind. Many of your ellipses are just floating in the cell and not touching the defined boundaries you defined at first and didn’t keep the angle consistent. Also, at times, you drew too many times. I recommend drawing through them at least three times, or better yet, two times. Still, your ellipses were executed confidently here, with not too much of a concern for accuracy, plus you kept the ellipse’s degree consistent through the cell. The first page of ellipses in planes looks good. You strived to keep them tangent to the edges while keeping them smooth and confidently drawn. Sometimes there does appear to be a bit of hesitation, very noticeable on your second page there, they turned out a bit wobbly, so keep in mind to execute confidently. Your funnels look solid. The ellipses are well aligned with the minor axis and are fit in snugly against one another and inside the funnel.

In your plotted perspective, you didn’t extend your lines there, and I also don’t see the vanishing points for the first few, unless you are using the edges of the section there where the horizon line meets the edge of the scene. Not sure if it was a choice you made, but it is best to stick to the instructions and look at the example homework. No problems though, it was still done well. Great work on your rough perspective exercise. The boxes are converging towards the marked vanishing point with a good deal of accuracy. It is still a bit off, but as you improve with your spatial reasoning skills the roughness will be reduced. Your rotated boxes have some issues. It is a hard exercise, and you were not expected to nail it at first, but there is barely any rotation with any of your boxes there. It is possible that you didn’t take the vanishing points shifting through the scene as the box rotates, as explained here. Another thing that could have helped you here are to draw them a little closer to each other. That way, you can use the neighboring boxes as clues; using the information of your surroundings to roughly deduce where the vanishing point is. Still, I think you did this to the best of your ability, so I say you did it well enough to pass. Finally, your organic perspective exercise came out pretty good! There is depth to the scene here, and the boxes are kept shallow to reinforce that illusion. One thing to keep in mind is the initial Y’s angles, some of your wonkier boxes there are distorted because the angles are less than 90 degrees, so keep that in mind for the box challenge. This was done very well still.

I think you showed a good understanding of the exercises and are ready to move on to the box challenge… which you already are. Hey hey, never forget to wait for feedback on a lesson, there are you can miss some valuable information that can help you out in the future lessons you tackle. Still, you did a good job, so you get your work marked as complete. Congratulations on completing and passing lesson 1!