12:15 AM, Wednesday December 11th 2024
I think it's helpful to acknowledge two things:
First, there's absolutely nothing wrong with taking time away from hobbies, and that does not diminish their value or importance to your life in any way. I've been playing various instruments off and on for over a decade - some years, it was most of my free time, and some years I never picked up a single one. But through it all, I have never thought that music was less important to me just because I hadn't played in a year, or thought I was being a "bad" musician. Life is chaotic and our brains do their best to adapt to our circumstances - sometimes we just need a break, that's all. Draw when it feels right, don't try to force it. You'll come back to drawing when your body and brain are ready. Our hobbies are here to enrich our lives, not define them. There's legitimately no reason to feel guilty by not participating.
Second, our patterns of behavior are often a symptom of the feedback we're getting from our bodies and brains, which often do not get the direct attention they deserve. It helps to focus not on the "laziness" itself, but the source of it. What emotions arise when you think about stopping what you're doing so you can draw? Note that "I don't want to do that right now" is not an emotion - where is that sentiment coming from? Is it fear of performing poorly? Is it pure disinterest and boredom? Or is it simply inertia (would you rather just keep doing whatever it is that's keeping you from it)? In any case, be truthful with yourself and don't ascribe any negativity to the answers you uncover. Just take some time to introspect and acknowledge exactly why you find yourself having a negative emotional reaction to drawing, and then you can decide how to move forward from an informed position.
As a brief aside, I also think we as artists can easily get laser-focused on our practice, and overly inflate its importance. When we're criticizing ourselves for not practicing our art, we often fail to take into account other external circumstances in our lives. You say the holidays are coming up, so you have "no responsibilities to worry about", but what about the responsibility you have to your family and your friends, or other communities you are a part of? If your art practice is truly more important to you than your family and friends, that's fine, but if it isn't, consider that people will still want to spend time with you; choosing to spend time away from them to focus on your art practice still comes at a cost. Holidays are some of the busiest and most emotionally draining times of the year for many of us, and that's worth considering when you evaluate if it's a good time to push yourself to draw more. If you can find the time, that's great! But if it puts additional pressure and strain on your life, it might not be a good time to do so.
Hopefully something in there is somewhat helpful, sorry for the long response. Good luck with your practice and don't forget to have fun!
