5:22 PM, Sunday July 17th 2022
Thank you for this detailed correction !
Thank you for this detailed correction !
Thank you for the critic !
Hi, I will try to give you a constructive critique. I see you're waiting since a while...
Arrows: when you look at the whole page, they look very good. And globally we have a good sense of space. However, as I zoom a little more, I see on the first page some woobly lines and the shadows are a little scribbly. Maybe some hesitation when applying line weight. The second page is better
Sausages: Very nice job !! your outlines are so clean! How do you do that? And the ellipses seem to be drawn with confidence ! Maybe on one or other you could vary the degree of the ellipses a bit more (like the 2 on bottom left from the first page).
Texture analysis: It is clear you understood this exercise, your analysis notes are relevant.
Your transitiosn to pure white are very good. Your transitions to black are maybe too sudden (I had the same difficulty...). Maybe try looking at the exemples shown in the lessons again, or other submissions from other students.
I also noticed that the edges of the areas filled with black are too irregular, and so are some lines. if they had been less wobbly the textures would look so much better. You could try outlining first the shapes you target to fill with black to make sure the edges are confident and smooth, and then fill them.
Dissections: the textures here are better than in the texture analysis exercise, even if the lines are still woobly. I think, you can achieve a better line quality (as on your second arrows page and first sausage page). Maybe it's a matter of patience. You can try to do only 2 dissection but with your better line quality, and clean, precise cast shadows.
2 other things :
you can push the further the transitions in black.
I can see that you're tacking care on the silhouette, and that a good point. But sometimes (for example, the treebark, Litchi and drymud), It looks like the silhouette was added at the last moment, but not really integrated with the rest of the texture.
Form intersections: Your lines are very goods and we feel the confidence in the marks.
The intersections themselves look good.
For your cylinders I notice that you're interverting de degrees of the ellipses. I mean, the most far away ellipse must have the biggest degree (be wider) than the one near us.
Good job !
Organic intersections: Tridimensionally speaking, the piles look good. Though the cast shadows could be thicker.
And i'm a little confused on what really happens on top left of the first page, but globally it looks very good !
Your line quality is good, except for the edges of the cast shadows, as mentioned earlier, maybe you should outlining first the shapes you target and then filling it in black.
I hope these comments will help you in your draftman journey !
PS : Sorry for any inaccuracies in my English. It's not my native language.
In my opinion, you pass the lesson ! Remember, of course, to keep practicing all of these exercises as you move onto lesson 3, and maybe take into account some of my remarks.
Thank you for all your answers !
Concerning the question of nationality, it is your third page (https://imgur.com/a/RINhIC0), we can see some writings through the page, which made me think of cyrillic and role play...
Have a nice journey on DrawABox.
Wow ! Thanks for this incredibly detailed and structured review !!
I did not expect so much.
You are right about the arrows. I think that, on one hand, I misinterpreted the instructions (and I understand better with your remarks), on the other hand, as you pointed out, I find it difficult to have confidence in my lines.
I exercise almost every day, I have a routine that takes the exercises from lesson one, the ghosted lines, superimposed lines lines and the funnels in particular, I thought I managed it (https://imgur.com/gallery/wGfALPg ) I need to work more !
Several things still pose problem to me:
I think I have a tremor that is difficult to control
when I have to draw small things with the shoulder, I lose a lot of precision
and when I come out of the exercises, in production or something else, I become hesitant again...
Result for the arrows, the areas where I have to draw small are very imprecise, and when I want to add weight to my lines, I miss the overlay the most of time, so I can't stop myself from trying to correct it, to smooth it, adding lines, but it doesn’t look good, I realize ! And if I go back slowly, my line become shaky.
I'm going to strengthen my routine and redo a few arrows, I admit that after 4 months of routine, sometimes I lose hope of having a clear and precise line…
you underlined once again the lack of confidence, and yes this is still a problem ... And I think I have to increase my 3D envision.
You are right about the edges in dark areas, still problems of inaccuracy and when I want to correct, I miss my overlays.
About the transition, however, I think I am quite close to the examples in the lesson, but I see what you mean and being more gradual could also be done.
I didn't think I had been scribbling, but maybe a little, I mostly have trouble being precise when I have to draw small. I will be able to manage my edges one day...
I will surely make a few dissections more to improve my skill (it's long ... but necessary).
It's not so much a clean up pass as the desire to make overlaps to appear, but still with my imprecise superimposed problem, which causes me to surperimposed more slowly ... and it's wrong ... I will work to control that.
Avoiding intersections between curved forms ? it was not intentional, I will do more in the next few pages.
Yes same problem of confidence ...
Thank you for your critic, one time more ! It confirms me some weaknesses, and stimulate me to become better.
So I did some more pages :
link to the additional pages : https://imgur.com/gallery/g2HPLpb
I tried to work more spontaneously, I forbade myself to pass more than once time to add weight to the lines, even if I missed the line (which happens all the time, and it’s ugly).
I looked your work, and I’m impressed, it’s incredible for me, your line quality is so nice. For the arrow exercice you become my model ! I can’t understant how you’re able to superimposed lines so cleanly ?
I try some superimposed curves (see the page linked), and I always miss the line. Maybe, I’ll never get it, but I’ll continu to try.
You gave me a lot of time with your critics, and I don’t want to abuse, but I have a few questions to try to understand better :
how fast do you make your lines ? The fastest you can ?
and how fast do you make your superimposed lines ? As fast as the first one or slower ?
My big problem are the superimposed lines, when i’m going to slowly, my lines become trembling. When I’m going to fast, I always miss the line and my drawing becomes hairy… No solution for me !
Other questions :
do you touch the sheet with your palm when you’re drawing ? Or are you totally free hand ?
do you work on a inclined plan (draw table) or flat ?
And questions that deal not with the subject :
I redid some of my textures with more accurate edges
You asked it, I did it. Hope better than the previous one.
For now I don’t have any production to show, I hope one day… But maybe you, you have an instagram or else to show, I think you’re talented, and I will certainly follow you if you have somes works, inspiring works !
Thank you for your comment.
I'm agree with the three remarks, and will try your method for the inner corner.
Sometimes i'm feeling what the cube should looks like, the best ones, other times, most of time, I have to think about angles, lines. I hope to find the feeling. Maybe after 250 boxes more...
Now next step : Lesson 2 !
I looked at your homework, I think the quality of your lines is very good. And you seem comfortable with straight lines, missing the end point doesn't matter.
Your were really successful with the rotated boxes. Maybe a little rush in the organic boxes.
The ellipses are really fine too, maybe, as I do, more difficulties with little ones, the tracing with shoulder for little forms appears not convenient for me. And maybe you could varied a little more the ellipse degree, but it is very good and regular.
All the best
The 250 boxes challenge is a good way to improve the boxes drawing.
I currently try it, with the objectif to have a really envision of the boxe before drawing any line.
Thanks for the comment
You are right, I may have rushed the organic perspective a bit. But it's hard for me to really see cubes in my imagination.
I can see the faces and edges in front of me, but not the edges and the distant faces, I have to test them on paper to find roughly the right line and angle. I am not able of envision with cubes, more with spheres, I hope it will come with practice, I am currently about 100 cubes of the 250 challenge, I have not yet the feeling I would like.
It is the same for you ?
I looked at your homework, I think the quality of your lines is very good too.
Your were really successful with the rotated boxes. And yes maybe a little rush in the organic boxes. The ellipses are fine too, maybe, as I do, more difficulties with little ones, the tracing with shoulder for little forms appears not convenient for me.
And finally, about your challenge, maybe an advice, you have the Y with angles over 90°, but the opposite angle the nearest from the observer, I think have to be over 90° too.