Bun

The Fearless

The Indomitable (Spring 2023)

Joined 2 years ago

8625 Reputation

bun's Sketchbook

  • The Unshakeable (Summer 2023)
  • The Indomitable (Spring 2023)
  • The Indomitable (Winter 2022)
  • The Indomitable (Summer 2022)
  • Sharing the Knowledge
  • The Fearless
  • Giver of Life
  • Dimensional Dominator
  • The Relentless
  • Basics Brawler
    7:22 AM, Thursday January 18th 2024

    Hiya Indecisive Lad!

    Haha the ability to see the repeated lines is why this specific pen is required to be used for most of the course. Much easier to see it than if you used pencil or digital tools. :)

    Anyways, regarding your question about the way you hold your pen. It's recommended that you hold it in a more comfortable/natural manner. Seems like before you were holding it quite tight which may have also meant you were pressing down on the paper quite hard which may be why ghosting and actually drawing on the paper felt so different. It's fine that your lines are a little curvy now. You have noticed that's the case and can work to improve upon it. Like I mentioned in the critique before, we mainly focus on confidence in your line more than the accuracy. Try holding your pen in the more comfortable way and practise, you might find it easier in the end even to get more accurate lines. It's basically all muscle memory after all.

    About drawing smaller boxes, this is normal. It is harder to draw smaller shapes with your shoulder and is why the wrist helps with doing the smaller details. Don't worry or focus on it too much. The main take from this lesson is the confidence so even if you use your wrist more than your shoulder for much smaller objects, it will inevitably happen since the drawing area is so small. But this is not an excuse to use your wrist all the time! It's more about how much surface area are you drawing over. Use your shoulder as much as possible and only if it seems like you're drawing really small, then you may find that you're using your wrist more. That's okay. :)

    Don't worry about the angle of the boxes, you will have TONS of practise for this when you do the 250 Box Challenge. Figuring out how to draw different angled boxes is part of that challenge.

    About the 'rushiness', I think this is something you may find that taking the time with your lessons can help. I had the same problem but I just forced myself to not get distracted by making sure I had a 'reward' to look forward to if I finished it properly (some tv or youtube to watch or maybe a nice meal even). If I didn't, well no reward for me AND I have rework to do because clearly I didn't pay enough attention to the lesson. That was punishment enough lol. The lessons do say not to rework but I could tell when I'd been paying attention and when I rushed and there's no point doing a lesson if I had rushed it without taking in what I was learning. Almost like cramming for an exam. You always forget a few days later lol.

    I'd suggest maybe concentrating on each stroke a little more as well. Almost like a meditation of sorts. Really think about how you're going to mark the paper. Easier said than done I know specially when the brain is like 'omg let's finish this quick!'. Maybe set aside like an hour or 2 a day to just work on DaB work. Don't think about how you want to finish something but rather think along the lines of 'I'll get what I can done within this timeframe and I'll do it properly'. Maybe not having an 'end goal' may help so you aren't really looking forward to finishing it. Or maybe its a opposite; choose only a small part to finish but give yourself 2 hours to do it. You can't do anything else within those two hours. No distractions. I'd say experiment and see. It's hard to give you advice here on this as I feel its a very individual thing. If you're on discord, you can maybe even join the DaB discord and ask around. I'm sure you're not the only individual who's struggled with this issue too. I feel it's very common.

    For your warm ups, lesson one doesn't really have warm ups as it's still the basics. But from lesson 2 onwards, you can randomly select exercises from lesson 1. These will be your warm up exercises. So spend about 15mins doing them before you start on any future lesson work.

    Sorry for the long essay but I hope I covered your questions. I'm happy with your revisions and I think you're definitely ready to move on to the 250 Box Challenge. Good luck! And remember, perseverance is key with this challenge and don't forget your warm ups. I'm sure you'll do well! :)

    This community member feels the lesson should be marked as complete. In order for the student to receive their completion badge, this critique will need 2 agreements from other members of the community.
    6:26 AM, Thursday January 18th 2024

    Thank you so much for your in depth critique! I did struggle a bit with wrapping the plates over the main sausage structure. Hoping I'll be able to improve on this over time. I'll keep the other points in mind as I move through the other lessons as well. Once again, thank you so much for reviewing my work! Appreciate it! Hope you have a lovely day! :)

    6:22 PM, Sunday November 26th 2023

    I can see the confidence in your stoke has improved with the new ellipses as well as in the planes! The strokes in your ellipses will get closer together as you practise more during your warm ups. I think with this I'm happy to mark your lesson 1 as complete.

    Make sure to practise the exercises from this lesson during ur warm ups and I think you're ready for move to the 250 box challenge!

    Good luck and all the best! :)

    This community member feels the lesson should be marked as complete, and 2 others agree. The student has earned their completion badge for this lesson and should feel confident in moving onto the next lesson.
    9:55 AM, Sunday November 26th 2023

    I think you've done well enough and I can see you've made a huge improvement compared to your initial lesson submission. Hence I'm going to mark this lesson as complete! :)

    Now you can move on to the 250 box challenge and the rest of the lessons. Don't forget to practise these exercises as part of your warm ups as you go along too! Good luck! :)

    This community member feels the lesson should be marked as complete, and 2 others agree. The student has earned their completion badge for this lesson and should feel confident in moving onto the next lesson.
    7:18 PM, Saturday November 25th 2023

    No your organic perspective is looking much better now so I don't think you need to redo the smaller boxes. Though on your last row, the smaller boxes also start from the point where the larger boxes end. The larger boxes should have been heading horizontally to the left instead of down. I think you may have gotten a little confused in following the swoopy line. Remember to follow the swoopy line correctly when you do this exercise for your warm ups.

    I'm still not confident of your ellipses though so I'd like you to do another page of Table of Ellipses. I think you're getting there so don't lose hope, this can be hard for some students. A little more practise is all thats needed. Remember to take your time to ghost but keep the speed up.

    Just want to say as I noticed you had written 'slower and lighter' on your revision page. Ghosting does not mean slowing down. You need to go at a faster pace to ensure that your lines don't wobble. But repeated ghosting allows for a more confident and accurate line.

    Next Steps:

    1 table of ellipses

    When finished, reply to this critique with your revisions.
    4:48 PM, Saturday November 25th 2023

    You are definitely on the right track with your superimposed lines and table of ellipses! This is a much better attempt than your previous submission. The lines are more confident and the ellipses don't look as haphazardly as they did before. :) I'm sure you yourself can see the difference!

    As for your issue with ghosting vs mark-making, sometimes we look at ghosting and mark-making as two different things when naturally they belong together. Try this for example:

    Take the pen and ghost an ellipse a few millimetres above the paper, then as you ghost slowly bring the pen down towards the paper. Keep the speed of ghosting consistent. It's at this point that sometimes we pause for a second as we suddenly think "Oh we're about to draw on the paper!" but keep that ghosting movement going while you slowly bring down your pen. Keep to the lightest of touches. You'll see how little pressure you need just to draw a faint line on the paper. You don't have to do this as part of the revision so just take a scrap piece of paper and experiment with how much pressure you need to actually mark the paper. Almost as if your arm was a robot and you had a control switch that gradually brought the 'arm' down onto the paper while the robot was just doing consistent circles. Lol. I'm not sure if that makes sense but if you want a further explanation, let me know.

    Drawing ellipses is definitely harder when you are just starting off in learning how to use your shoulder to draw but don't worry, with practise you'll get better at it. Also, I'm guessing that when you write normal words, you tend to press down on the paper but with these felt tip pens you really don't need that kind of pressure. It's mainly required for later lessons when you want to draw the eye towards certain lines/aspects of the artwork.

    Also to reduce the wobble (as I still see a little bit of wobbling in your table of ellipses), try increasing the speed of ghosting. Sometimes when you go a little more slowly, the brain starts focusing on trying to be accurate and then end up with a line that lacks confidence. So a little more speed and a lighter touch might help. Try doing a few ellipses like this on scrap paper before you attempt the funnels exercise.

    Also if you can, try to do about two rows of the table of ellipses. This isn't part of the revision so you can skip it if you want to, but it may benefit you just to compare and see the differences between all 3 versions.

    And sorry, yes I meant organic perspective. I hope this helps but it's all about loosening up and ghosting. Take your time to ghost. Sometimes it might feel a little weird to ghost about 10 times for a simple ellipse, but you'll see that after a while of ghosting, you naturally also get better at drawing them.

    Let me know if you have any more questions.

    4:27 PM, Saturday November 25th 2023

    Nicely done! I can see you've put a little more thought into the revisions. I see there is a little overshooting in your lines. To fix this, try to intentionally lift your hand off the paper as you reach the end dot. Initially it might feel a little weird doing it but you will subconciously recognise what needs to be done and that you don't need to lift your hand much at all.

    In practising these exercises as warm ups, I have no doubt the issues mentioned will improve over time. Specially when you get to the 250 boxes challenge. :)

    With this I'll mark this homework as complete. Good luck for the future lessons and I wish you the best!

    I can't edit my parent comment with the required revisions but just to note for anyone reading this in the future, I amended my revisions required to:

    • 1 page of Ellipses in Planes

    • Half a page of Rough Perspective

    This community member feels the lesson should be marked as complete, and 4 others agree. The student has earned their completion badge for this lesson and should feel confident in moving onto the next lesson.
    4:16 PM, Thursday November 23rd 2023

    Hi! Lol that's completely fine, you can contact me here or even on the discord if you're on there too.

    As to why I picked these exercises,

    Ellipses in Planes - This would allow me to see your progress in both the lines you do for the planes (where your Ghosted Lines had the wobble and curving issues) and the ellipses will allow me to see how well you've been ghosting as I saw you had done a few ellipses a little haphazardly. Not enough ghosting would be my guess as some of them aren't as tight as you could do like you did for some of the ellipses in your table of ellipses and also some of them look a little egg shaped. I didnt want you to do a whole other table of ellipses as I don't think you need to draw THAT many ellipses. Though mind you, you should cover these exercises during your warm ups! Anyways, the Ellipses in Planes exercise covers both these aspects.

    Funnels - Also for the same reason above. Your ellipses here weren't as good as I see in table as there is quite a bit of wobble in some of your lines.

    Rough perspective - Because there is quite a bit of wobble/curving here and I'd like to see you ghost a bit more and work on this as I know you can draw better lines (your Ghosted Lines exercise lines were a little better than what you have done here). Practising ghosting and your boxes would look a lot better!

    I hope this is enough of an explanation and of course if you have any more questions, do let me know!

    And thanks for the clarification about the line. Though I do see corrections on the swoopy line. Just keep in mind that mistakes are ok. :)

    1 users agree
    6:36 AM, Thursday November 23rd 2023

    Hi Indecisive Lad!

    I'll be doing your critique today! :) I'll divide it into 3 parts to make it easier for you to follow.

    LINES

    • Super Imposed Lines - Your superimposed lines are looking good! You've managed to start at the same starting point with only a bit of fraying towards the end as well. You've also drawn confident strokes with no real wobbling. Good job here.

    • Ghosted Lines - You've done well here too! You've ghosted enough that you've accurately started at the starting point and even reached very close to the endpoint as well. Very nice! I see slight wobbling on some of the lines but that will improve with a little more ghosting and practise. Nicely done!

    • Ghosted Planes - Good job here as well. As in the previous exercise, you've drawn confident strokes and ghosted enough to ensure that most lines start at the starting point and end on or close to the endpoint. Once again I see a little wobbling here but it's not too bad so again, more ghosting and practise will help. Remember that the focus is confidence in your line and not accuracy. There is a bit of curving to some of your lines, especially in the boxes of the edges of your pages. To counter this, you can consciously arch the opposite way to maintain a straight line when ghosting, this can help lessen the arching problem. Again this comes with practise so keep practising and these issues will be minimal over time.

    ELLIPSES

    • Tables of Ellipses - Your table looks good with most of the ellipses touching the borders with little or no overlap. You've correctly maintained the 2-stroke ellipse and ghosted enough to keep the ellipses 'tight'. Nicely done!

    • Ellipses in Planes - Your ellipses in planes are quite good too. One thing I want to add is that you have a slight issue of overshooting the end point in some of the planes. This issue is also present in your Ghosted Planes but I thought I'd address it here as it's more obvious in these pages. A way to counteract this is to lift your hand up once you reach the end point to prevent the pen from overshooting that point. These issues will be fixed with practise so keep practising and they will be minimal over time.

    • Funnels - Good job on your funnels. You're ellipses look good though there is a little wobble to some of them as you lose confidence in your line. Keep ghosting over and over until you're ready to mark the paper and the ellipses will be much smoother. There is a relative symmetry with the minor axis cutting the ellipses too so good job overall!

    BOXES

    • Plotted Perspective - Everything looks good here, no issues!

    • Rough Perspective - Good job on keeping the lines either perpendicular or horizontal to the horizon! Also, you've accurately used the line correction method and drawn through your boxes. Some students go past the horizon or don't line up the correction lines to the corner 'dots' when they draw their correction lines. However, there's a little wobble/curving to your lines as I mentioned before. It's a little more obvious here as your eye recognises that the edges of a box must be straight. One thing I'd like you to remember is to use your shoulder more to mark the paper as using your wrist greatly increases your chances of curved lines. Keep practising from the shoulder and arching in the opposite direction than which you tend to draw and your lines will be straighter! Also, I see you've tried to correct some edges of your boxes e.g. first page, first row, bottom-left box. You've drawn over your lines multiple times. This is not allowed. This is stressed a lot during the whole course so ensure you adhere to this rule. The initial line you drew should be handled as correct and you should continue drawing the rest of your box. This is why ghosting matters as you minimise the chances of this happening. Remember that, we are not allowed to redo lines over and over to make it 'look correct' so ghost more and then I'm sure you will be confident enough in your stroke that you won't need to redo anything. :)

    • Rotated Boxes - Good job here! Some students really struggle with this exercise. It is clear that your spatial awareness is good as you've rotated your boxes quite accurately while maintaining quite a close distance with each corner of the boxes. A little bit of curving and wobble can be seen here too in your line work but I'm sure this will improve over time. I can't tell if you've redone certain lines as you've done this exercise in a smaller area but if you have, just keep the previous advice in mind.

    • Organic Perspective - The organic boxes are good. You've kept a good sense of rotation as well as perspective here too so good job! I see repeated edges on multiple boxes as well as the curving and overshooting of lines. I've already addressed these issues so keep the previous advice in mind. I feel like you may have been rushing this exercise to get the homework done. While I understand the want to finish it all, note that this just makes your work a little sloppy. You had done well up to this point.

    All in all, this is a good submission and I'm confident you'll improve over time. Keep in mind to ghost more and work on that wobbling/curvature of your lines. I would like you to work on 2 exercises before I mark this lesson as complete.

    Also, you may want to work on a smoother surface or keep a few sheets of paper under the paper you're working on as it can be seen up until the Boxes section, you're working on a rough surface. Just something to help you. :)

    Next Steps:

    • 1 page of Ellipses in Planes

    • 1 page of Organic Perspective

    Please take note of the issues and solutions that have been mentioned and get back to me with the above pages.

    When finished, reply to this critique with your revisions.
    2 users agree
    5:17 AM, Thursday November 23rd 2023

    Hi Hansika207!

    I'll be doing your critique today! :) I'll divide it into 3 parts to make it easier for you to follow.

    LINES

    • Super Imposed Lines - You've done well to start from the same starting point and thus there is no fraying at the beginning. However, you've sacrificed confidence in your line to ensure that you reach the pre-determined end point. As a result, your superimposed lines show a little wobbling. Wobbling should be minimised as we try to focus on confidence in our linework. It doesn't matter that there would have been fraying at the end of the line due to not reaching the end point accurately. The main focus is confidence so please keep that in mind. Ghosting will help you build that confidence and with more practise you'll be able to draw lines more accurately. For now, fixing that wobbling should be your main focus.

    • Ghosted Lines - You've done well here! It can be clearly seen that you've ghosted enough to reduce that wobbling. There is a little overshooting of the line at the end of your stroke in some of your lines. To counter this, it may help to lift your hand up once you reach the end point to prevent the pen from overshooting that point. Again, with practise this will come to you. Overall, nicely done!

    • Ghosted Planes - Good job here as well. As in the previous exercise, you've drawn confident strokes and ghosted enough to ensure that most lines start at the starting point and end on or close to the endpoint. Once again I see a little wobbling here but it's not too bad so again, more ghosting and practise will help. One thing to note is that I see a few lines that have a subtle C-curve to them. To counter this, you can consciously arch the opposite way to maintain a straight line when ghosting, this can help lessen the arching problem. Again this comes with practise so keep practising and these issues will be minimised.

    ELLIPSES

    • Tables of Ellipses - Your table looks good with most of the ellipses touching the borders with little or no overlap. You've correctly maintained the 2-stroke ellipse as well. A little of that wobble I mentioned before is also seen here too. Once again, ghosting will come to the rescue! In addition, more ghosting will help your ellipses be 'tighter' so it doesn't look like your second stroke is a lot different from your first so keep that in mind.

    • Ellipses in Planes - Your ellipses in planes are quite good too. There is a little wobble in some of your ellipses as you've tried to ensure it touches all 4 sides of the plane. Overall though, it's well done. Again, with more ghosting the confidence issue will go away on its own. :)

    • Funnels - Good job on your funnels. Your ellipses look good though again, there is a little wobble. However, there is a relative symmetry with the minor axis cutting the ellipses good job overall!

    BOXES

    • Plotted Perspective - Everything looks good here, no issues!

    • Rough Perspective - Good job on keeping the lines either perpendicular or horizontal to the horizon! Also, you've accurately used the line correction method and drawn through your boxes. Some students go past the horizon or don't line up the correction lines to the corner 'dots' when they draw their correction lines. However, there's a little wobble/curving to your lines. We've already addressed this so I won't talk about it again. Use your shoulder more to mark the paper as using your wrist greatly increases your chances of curved lines. Keep practising from the shoulder and arching in the opposite direction than which you tend to draw and your lines will be straighter! These issues are minor though and this is a very well done exercise all in all so nicely done!

    • Rotated Boxes - Really good job here! Some students really struggle with this exercise. It is clear that your spatial awareness is good as you've rotated your boxes quite accurately while maintaining quite a close distance with each corner of the boxes. A little bit of curving and wobble can be seen here too in your line work but I'm sure this will improve over time. Really well done here!

    • Organic Perspective - The organic boxes look good! You've kept a good sense of rotation as well as perspective here too so good job! I see in 1 box you've tried to fix one edge as the initial trajectory was incorrect. You should not try to fix a line, you should always keep the line as it if were correct and move on. This is stressed a lot during the whole course so ensure you adhere to this rule. We don't mind seeing mistakes. It is through making mistakes that we learn. Overall, good job on this!

    All in all, this is a good submission and I'm confident you'll improve over time. Keep in mind to ghost more and work on that wobbling/curvature of your lines. I would like you to work on one exercise before I can mark you as complete just to make sure you've understood everything I've mentioned.

    Next Steps:

    • 1 page of Ellipses in Planes

    Please provide the above when you can.

    When finished, reply to this critique with your revisions.
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Framed Ink

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Marcos Mateu-Mestre's Framed Ink is among the best books out there on explaining composition, and how to think through the way in which you lay out your work.

Illustration is, at its core, storytelling, and understanding composition will arm you with the tools you'll need to tell stories that occur across a span of time, within the confines of a single frame.

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