Akakunari

thanks a bunch, i seriously appreciate it!

i appreciate the info and response!

i saw this interactive website on another review i thought would help you: https://eyes.training/intersections/

if you have time, could you please see if you agree with the feedback i was given for my 250 boxes? i am one agreement away from completion, it would mean a lot to me and in the future feel free to message me here or on discord and i will repay the favor.

https://drawabox.com/community/submission/28M39DAG

great!

If you have time, would you see if you agree with the feedback I received on my 250 box challenge? I am one agreement away from earning the badge. It would mean so much to me...

https://drawabox.com/community/submission/28M39DAG

Thank you!

congratulations on completing the 250 box challenge!! it really shows your discipline and determination to improve your drawing skills!

lines

looks like 2 did not get extended lines correctly but the rest look like you extended the lines correctly. 24 is missing its extended lines. around 34 you wrote "wrong" but your convergence already looks really good on average.

line weight and hatching

your hatching (along with everything else) improved as the exercise went on. they get noticeably tighter and straigther as soon as box 35. be sure to only apply line weight to the very outer edges, the silhouettes, of the forms. really take your time with the ghosting method; even 150 boxes in i still see a lot of fraying lines both on outer lines and inner lines. box 194 exemplifies how your hatching needs a little work focusing on where the lines start and end but confidence is more important than accuracy in drawabox.

box construction

around 34 you wrote "wrong" but your convergence already looks really good on average. you have a good variety of shallow and radical perspective. i think your boxes look really good overall; many have great edges and convergence. i think the hatching is your weakest part here but it was not the focus of the exercise. great work!

one minor nitpick i have is to make your forms bigger and really use all the space on the paper. i know some room is needed to extend the lines but going forward it will be absolutely necessary to draw the forms so they almost touch each other. drawing big will actually be easier than drawing small and will help you get the point of each exercise more.

Keep up the good work--- there is still plenty there to be proud of.

My lesson 2 was marked complete because my bf (he does not draw) gave it a meager review and like 4 people agreed with it. It was not a real review though lol so I rejected it. So now my lesson 2 appears complete but i never received real feedback. Do you think I should submit my lesson 2 again so someone actually reviews it? I have been trying to write more feedback so it goes up in the queue but I think no one will review it because it is already marked as complete.

Thinking in 3D

your organic arrows i feel are your weakest submissions but it's hard to say why exactly. there are some good overlapping arrows in there but there are also plenty that don't feel they recede into space but just go from side to side like they lay on a table. i guess i would say to overlap and exaggerate scale change even more. it will feel uncomfortable to draw. Also try to gradate your shading more like his example shows-- tighter where the form first turns and less as it gets further from the turn.

your org forms with contours look really good. there are a few ellipses that still dont quite reach your outer edges but it will get better with more practice. sometimes your degrees are still too similar within one sausage form. i feel your sausages get a bit long which is not bad for the texture dissection exercise but i would focus on Uncomfortables instructions about keeping 2 spheres on the edges of a tube idea. the ones with just the contours instead of ellipses has better sausage forms though that are not as long.

Texture and Detail

i think you have excellent observation skills and skills of drawing what you see. i think your coral study in the middle row is excellent and professional. all 3 texture analyses are really excellent. your dissections are really successful as well and you disperse the density of the textures really well. Raspberry and dragon fruit didnt show much of a highlight/dispersement but corn texture looks so good, i also tried to do corn and yours is lot more successful than mine. you did the avocado multiple times for the center dissection which is kinda cheating but I accept it. this one took forever because just finding the references takes so long. i appreciate that you did this over more than 2 years. i did this lesson over 1 year and felt i am so slow.

Construction

i think the one with so many forms is so ambitious and great! i think you have a great sense of form, shallow perspective, and good line quality. i like that you chose to draw through the form intersection as well which i was surprised was not in the instructions for this assignment as it seems so necessary to really understand form but it is challenging. your forms are drawn well but some of your intersections do confuse me for example in img_0008, in the lower left corner it is not clear to me how that top plane intersects the box on top of it. and just to the right of that is a box with its lower left corner showing a dissection that should really be obscured by the form in front of it. maybe that's the page you did a long time ago though. in img_10 the lower left sphere and cone intersect but i feel the intersection line should bend the other way following the contours of the sphere, but it's hard to tell because you didnt shade it. Same with the pyramid above that. the pramid on the lower right corner is really hard to understand in img10 too because there is no shading or line weight to help make it clear and as a result the intersection on it doesnt make sense to me. the cone above that pyramid on the right side of img10 is trying to intersect a sphere and cylinder but it isnt complete or successful and needed more time. i think your box forms on this page look excellent but the page would have benefited from shading. img11 as well i can see there are 2 intersection lines on the sphere towards the center that should be convex instead of concave i think so the intersection follows the contours of the sphere. the pyramid in the right corner intersects the cylinder in a way that doesnt make sense to me. it seems like 2 flat side faces of the pyramid intersect the rounded side face of the cylinder and that is all we should see because the back right face of the cylinder is turned away from us, however you have an intersection line on the far right face of the pyramid where it intersects nothing. the point of this exercise was to make forms that look like they have similar levels of perspective and with good line quality and i think you achieved this very well.

2 Pages of Organic Arrows

they need more perspective (get smaller as they recede from us and bigger as they come forward) and overlap.

Let the curves overlap each other as they come forward. It will feel uncomfortable to draw. exaggerate these features of perspective. his example had 6 arrows, aim to get at least the same number of forms in your submission as his example or more. slow down with shading, each line should be its own line, not a zig zagging zingle stroke.

1 Page of Organic Forms with Contour Ellipses

these look pretty good. most ellipses are perpendicular to the major axis of the form. there is some good overlapping ellipses that are selling the illusion of depth on the right.

1 Page of Organic Forms with Contour Curves

i think these look good too--some of them have too many contours though that are redundant. the lower right one is missing its central axis. there could be more variety in the depths of the ellipses/contours. the lack of changing width of the contours makes these forms look like they are isometrically drawn which is not what Uncomfortable would say is correct. but i think you did a good job getting most contours to touch the outer edge of the form.

1 Page of Texture Analyses

i think you gradate the textures out well but each texture kind of looked similar to each other, maybe because you chose similar things or lack of observation. really take your time with texture;there is a lot there for the mind to process. could use a bit more detail in some areas.

2 Pages of Dissections

fill the page--there is too much white space. making the forms bigger will make adding detail easier too. more darkness at the edges and lessening of detail towards the center of the forms is needed to make it seem like the form has light shining on it. Turtle shell is hard, i also tried turtle shell and i was not successful--the forms of the turtle shell should effect the silhouette more and raise up out of that sausage form. your skin texture looks good, it does the thing with light i was talking about, darker/more details around the edges and less/none in the center. a lot of your centers look good and you improved over time. your feathers have good silhouettes but look sort of hard, more like scales. Web does a good job wrapping around the form.

4 Pages of Form Intersections

you think you dont know what you are doing but you did the exercise just fine. Uncomfortable wrote that the focus of this exercise was not the intersections but just to get the forms all with shallow perspective and like they could exist together. in the furst page, your box on the upper right side is very slanted but the other boxes look like they have integrity and work well together. on your second page some of these forms feel like their perspective is not shallow enough; some forms look too stretched. work on pyramids and specifically pyramids that could fit in a cube or close to it. i had the same issue where some of my pyramids didnt feel equilateral or like right pyramids with 90 degree perpendicular centers in relation to their bases. only shade the faces that face the viewer, some of your faces seem to be on the otherside of the form but you shaded them which makes them feel like they face us.. i think you have some pretty good looking cylinders and rounded forms but sometimes the cylinders ends are very different in scale---giving them a similar scale will help make the perspective feel more shallow as Uncomfortable wanted here.

2 Pages of Organic Intersections

i think these look really good too-- you did not make the forms too complex and they do appear to be sausages. i guess my only suggestion would be to deflate the sausages more so they appear saggy and more sad, and also make the shadows wrap around the forms they are on top of more--- those shadows will really become quite distorted if we think of our light source being straight above. you are missing shadows that should be on the table/ground and being casted by the lowest form. the sausages look good though, i can tell you did well in the previous lessons because your ellipses hit the contours pretty consistently.

Thanks! I definitely am not following the time frames. The challenge in radiorunners course is to do the 250 box challenge and 250 cylinder challenge in like 1 month LOL it's very unrealistic. But I do get kind of down because based on my pace it will take me like 9 years to get through it all... probably I will stop at some point and make a graphic novel with the limited information I have or jump around more.

thanks so much for reviewing my work. this is a great and thorough review! i agree i am wobbly with my lines. i often draw with a little lap table on my couch because it is more comfortable on my back but it can lead to some sloppiness. i probably rushed this a bit, i was trying to get done before doing another course with marshall vandruff. also i grew frustrated doing all these boxes but not knowing how to draw a cube. so i spent a lot of time with the resources on radiorunners curriculum for the solo artist that pairs with this dab lesson. And now i think i know how. doing this makes me really want to get back to figures and faces in rooms and places because i let myself get too grindy. i took a break half way thru the challenge to do vandruff's composition bootcamp so i felt it was fairly balanced over a long time but killed me at the end like the last 50 boxes. happy it is done.

Thanks so much for the critique including a response to my post and video clip which I know takes extra time to think about and respond to. I just kind of thought it was a good talking point for anyone who likes DaB. I was thinking about what Toniko said a lot in the organic perspective in particular because it just felt so random not establishing a horizon line and just making boxes via the Y method... I have no way to know if those boxes are "correct" and they are not rotating, they change depth and width and are not consistent. I just wasn't sure of what I was getting out of that exercise in particular. A lot of the time in that exercise I was not visualizing the box beforehand and only tried to control one general face of it and its scale; otherwise they just turned out how they turned out. I felt I was out of control of the form for the most part if that makes sense. I did not feel this way with the other perspective assignments. Your answer satisfies me though; like I said it was just a thought. I really appreciate DaB for helping people with draftsmenship in particular and as well as form rotational exercises.

To clarify I had the wrong pen size until after the tables of ellipses. So the rotated boxes exercise is all using the correct pen size and I emboldened the edges because he said you could do that via the ghost method to help it read better; "There are going to be a lot of lines floating around, so keeping them all straight in your head will be a challenge, but you can use some strategically placed line weight to help clarify where certain forms overlap. Just make sure that when you add line weight, you're doing so with a confident stroke using the ghosting method, just as you would when initially drawing the line." For the rotated boxes exercise, it turned out decent because I measured to assure symmetry from crossing point of the x and y axis. He does not explicitly say not to measure and I've been telling people whose work I review that if they want to help keep it symmetrical and nice look to go ahead and measure. You don't have to measure using the tick marks on the ruler, you can rough it out with your pen and finger or use string etc. But idk if this is good advice to be giving people. I did not use a ruler to make the boxes, I used the ghosting freehand method to make all the boxes as he said to do, but I plotted some points after making one initial part of a quadrant to help its symmetry by measuring my first quadrant first. I just know that my rotated boxes turned out nicer than most because of this and even so the internal sphere could have been a little rounder on the x axis and the perspective could have been a little more gradual I feel, but it's fine. I plotted the boxes based on neighboring edges which was the point.

I think my ellipses are the weakest and I think your critique reflects that accurately esp the funnels. Partially it was due I think because I was using an extremely thin pen and I go over the ellipse more than 2 to 3 so it is like you say hectic.

I will have to set aside some time to watch this Bobby Chiu video-- I've heard of him but haven't watch many of his videos. Thanks for the great review!

When you say 50-50 you mean sketch for fun/not exercises as much as doing the DaB assignments? Or do you mean you want me to review your work in return for your critique (which I am happy to do if you need one but it looks like you're a couple lesson's ahead of me).